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MARQUETTE UPDATE
BY MICHAEL KEARNEY, NJCL FIRST VICE PRESIDENT
Well, I’ll admit I was tempted to copy and paste last year’s May Torch MUHS Update—as, in true MUHS fashion, our
activities haven’t changed since then—but, here we go.
After reveling in our supreme glory from a pair of third place finishes at state (now is when you bow down to us), we have
taken a three month-long hiatus from work in general. We did, however, find time to conduct our annual tradition—the
MUHS Chariot Races.
Each student in Latin forms a team with a number of students and works together to build a “chariot”—a loosely
constructed amalgamation of whatever a student has in his garage, generally held together by glue, tape, and even a
few screws. On the appointed day, nearly 200 MUHS Latin students descend on the parking lot—and from there we
race. The tournament is divided into two divisions, freshman-sophomore and junior-senior, each level consisting of an
NCAA-style single elimination bracket. MUHS Latin Supreme Leader Magister Dybicz put it best: “Geez, I don’t know
what to say”—before adding “fifty chariots raced this year, our highest number ever…what else, I don’t know.” Following
a riveting final, the underclassmen once more upset the juniors.
Far more importantly, the MUHS Latin Club thrashed the German Club in the third and final soccer game of the year.
Well, we actually lost the third game of the series, but only by one goal—and thus secured an aggregate series victory.
Finally, MUHS held its first inaugural intra-school Certamen tournament. Senior Charlie Jaskolski* said “…the tournament was a smashing success, just an epiphany and orchestra of wisdom and knowledge. ”We look forward to more
in-school Certamen tournaments in the future.
*Just to clarify, Charlie Jaskolski has never actually participated in Certamen outside of his immaculate performance as a
member of Wild Card Team Delta at State Convention 2014 and 2015.
AT LEFT: MARQUETTE
STUDENTS COMPETE IN
THEIR ANNUAL
CHARIOT RACES AND,
SURPRISINGLY,
SURVIVE.
EDGEWOOD UPDATE
BY RUBY LADD, EDGEWOOD LATIN CLUB PRESIDENT
At Edgewood, Rome's Birthday was very nearly overshadowed by a celebration of
Shakespeare's birthday and, relatedly, club president Ruby Ladd's impressive
cross-dressing abilities, but, thanks again to the multi-talented club president
Ruby Ladd, the glory of the greatest city ever built (besides Madison) was
celebrated and remembered with a feast featuring cuisine reserved historically
only for the Roman elite (if by "featured cuisine" we mean "donuts" and "feast" we
mean "12").
MULTI-TALENTED EDGEWOOD PRESIDENT RUBY
LADD DISPLAYS IMPRESSIVE CROSS-DRESSING
ABILITIES. THIS PHOTO IS NOT EVEN LATIN-RELATED,
BUT WAS SELECTED FOR ITS BEAUTY.