CURRICULUM GUIDE FOR S.C. TEACHER CADET COURSE | EXPERIENCING EDUCATION, TENTH EDITION
Self Worth: The Pot Nobody Watches, Page 2 of 2
Feelings of worth can only flourish in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communications are open, and rules are flexible – the kind
of atmosphere found in a nurturing family. It is no accident that the children of these families
usually feel good about themselves, or that the children of troubled families so often feel
worthless growing up as they must amid “crooked” communication, inflexible rules, criticism
of their differentness, and punishment for their mistakes.
Happily, it is possible to raise everyone’s pot, no matter what his or her age. Since the
feeling of worth has been learned, it can be unlearned, and something new can be learned
in its place. The possibility for this learning lasts from birth to death, so it is never too late.
At any point in a person’s life, he/she can begin to feel better about himself/herself.
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Theme I: Experiencing Learning
Unit 1: Awareness and Reflection
Every word, facial expression, gesture, or action on the part of the parent gives the child
some message about his worth. It is sad that so many parents don’t realize the effect these
messages have on the child and often don’t even realize what messages they are sending.
A mother may accept the bouquet clutched in her three-year-old child’s hand and say,
“Where did you pick these?” – her voice and smile implying “How sweet of you to bring me
these! Where do such lovely flowers grow?” This message would strengthen the child’s feelings of worth. Or she might say, “How pretty!” but add, “Did you pick these in Mrs. Randall’s
garden?” – implying that the child was bad to steal them. This message would make him
feel wicked and worthless. Or she might say, “How pretty! Where did you pick them?” but
wear a worried, accusing expression that added, “Did you steal them from Mrs. Randall’s garden?” In this case, she is building a low pot but probably does not realize it.