take . If one person does all the giving and the other one does all the taking the thing will eventually collapse under the weight of these unbalanced roles . It ’ s important to prioritize each other above all else ; to say with your actions and your words : you matter to me . You are the most important person in the world to me . I choose you ahead of all others .
Then , no matter what the world throws at you , both you and your partner know you have each other ’ s backs . That loyalty stands out . It ’ s weighted and sacred and beautiful .
Look to the marriages you are inspired by . What makes them so amazing ? Search for the elements of mutual nurture in those unions . Make the unseen and unspoken visible and heard . Ask a married couple you respect how they resolve conflict . How do they forgive each other ? When resentment and anger pop up , how do they resolve these issues ?
Become a marriage detective . Learn from those who have been doing this longer and who know the tricks of the trade . Be willing to show your true self to the person you are committed to . Come out of hiding . Take off your protective mask and invite vulnerability to grow and bloom between the two of you . This is how marriage thrives , but beware the hard beginning . Push through . Move from pretend to real , so true nurture can begin to flow in the space between you .
For additional resources , read Rob and Kristen Bell ’ s The Zimzum of Love , Brene Brown ’ s Daring Greatly and Rising Strong , and Glennon Doyle Melton ’ s new memoir Love Warrior . These authors are vulnerability pioneers . They courageously blaze the way for all of us .
take . If one person does all the giving and the other one does all the taking the thing will eventually collapse under the weight of these unbalanced roles . It ’ s important to prioritize each other above all else ; to say with your actions and your words : you matter to me . You are the most important person in the world to me . I choose you ahead of all others .
Then , no matter what the world throws at you , both you and your partner know you have each other ’ s backs . That loyalty stands out . It ’ s weighted and sacred and beautiful .
Look to the marriages you are inspired by . What makes them so amazing ? Search for the elements of mutual nurture in those unions . Make the unseen and unspoken visible and heard . Ask a married couple you respect how they resolve conflict . How do they forgive each other ? When resentment and anger pop up , how do they resolve these issues ?
Become a marriage detective . Learn from those who have been doing this longer and who know the tricks of the trade . Be willing to show your true self to the person you are committed to . Come out of hiding . Take off your protective mask and invite vulnerability to grow and bloom between the two of you . This is how marriage thrives , but beware the hard beginning . Push through . Move from pretend to real , so true nurture can begin to flow in the space between you .
For additional resources , read Rob and Kristen Bell ’ s The Zimzum of Love , Brene Brown ’ s Daring Greatly and Rising Strong , and Glennon Doyle Melton ’ s new memoir Love Warrior . These authors are vulnerability pioneers . They courageously blaze the way for all of us .
Join the Nurture is Valuable revolution . Email Julianne at harvey . julianne @ gmail . com if you are willing to answer five short questions on nurture for her ongoing research into this topic . Watch this space for a series of articles on nurture so we can dig into this important subject together . For more information on Julianne Harvey , please visit julianneharvey . com .