others. A wise investment in
those we love begins with
caring for ourselves.
This message can make
some of us squeamish. Hell,
I’m squirming around a little
as my pen scratches this
across my loose leaf paper
(yes, I’m old school and write
my first drafts by hand. I’d
use a typewriter too except
for how incompatible it is
with email. But oh, the
glorious sound of the keys
clacking and the ding of the
bell when you reach the end
of your line!). The fact is, we
don’t talk about self care
much in our culture, and
certainly not as paired with
nurture. And yet the two
concepts are inseparable.
To understand how
valuable nurture is to
individuals and also to
society as a whole, we must
begin with radical acts of self
care. We teach other people
how to treat us, so it’s
important to model this with
our own behaviour.
And we cannot forget
that our kids are watching us.
Are we running ourselves
ragged cleaning up after
them, making them food,
buying them clothes and toys,
listening to them, nursing
them back to health, driving
them hither and yon, plus a
million more things each and
every day? All of those
things matter, but are we
building in time for ourselves
as well? If not, we will
eventually hit a wall. Then no
one will be nurtured well.
Self care is tied up with
our self esteem. If we don’t
value ourselves, we won’t
look after our needs. We’ll
kill ourselves making sure
everyone around us is okay,
but we’ll float through our
days like sleepwalking
ghosts.
I spent most of my
children’s younger years with
a superpower: I was invisible.
They got the best of what I
had and I lived off their
scraps. I don’t advocate this