Every one of us must navigate
difficult situations, relationships
and decisions. We live in a world
with information and advice
bombarding us from all directions.
How about a bit of gentle
encouragement and support
instead?
Dear Julianne’s Joy,
My husband has no problem
doing whatever he wants to do
without asking me, but I don’t
have the same luxury because I
have to make sure the kids are
taken care of for me to enjoy
leisure time. How do I tell him
that I think it’s selfish when he
makes plans and doesn’t consider
me or the kids?
- Not Fair
Dear Not Fair,
Mothers tend to be wired to
look after kids first in a different
way from most men. Accepting
this helps with the frustration level
many women feel with their
spouses. Continue to ask for your
husband to consult you first before
he makes plans, but it’s really
important for you to value
yourself enough to take leisure
time when you need it. Begin to
schedule it into your life, and
refuse to feel guilty for doing what
you love apart from your kids.
A happy, well-rested mom is
a better one. You were a woman
first before you became a mom, so
take time to do what you enjoy.
Give your husband plenty of
advance warning and be sure he
commits to looking after the kids
(if he won’t, pay a neighbourhood
teenager you know and trust to
look after them for a few hours).
You will probably worry less
about his leisure time if you begin
to make yours more of a priority.
Go for it!
- Love, Julianne