Relationships
Family
The following are excerpts from Enduring The Single Mother Struggle . For more information about the book , go to www . enduringsinglemothers . com
Replaying the Hurt
If not for the Lord on our side , where would we be ? It ’ s something to consider since single mothers have some very tough days . There are days when everything starts to fall apart and our children are acting up and being disrespectful . There are days when it feels like everything and everyone is against us . You spend your nights crying , wondering , Lord , why me ? You keep replaying the past in your mind , wishing you could get that moment back to walk away from the relationship when you had the chance . Now you have a child to raise alone and there is no walking away from that . You asked yourself how you ended up with this man in the first place ? Why does it seem as if he gets away without consequences while you endure the responsibility of taking care of your child ? If you continue to replay the hurt , you will continue to ask these questions . Ask God to forgive you for your indiscretions and move on .
At times it may seem as if you are suffocating with frustration , anger , sadness , loneliness , and depression . Come to terms with these feelings because self denial keeps us from growing . Don ’ t be shy about getting help through counseling . Do what you need to do to breathe so that you can overcome that feeling of suffocation . Learn to forgive to free yourself of internal bondage . Not forgiving keeps us from being where God needs us to be and to do what God needs us to do . For this reason , we need to stop holding on to past hurts . Honestly , how often have we taken this to the Lord and prayed about it , and released it ? Are we being really truthful when we say we have released it to God ? We hold onto so much hurt and pain we can ’ t seem to look to the future . So , we stagnate all the progress we tried to make toward healing and being whole . When we internalize this hurt we become stressed . We bring that stress to our children , our jobs , our friends , our ministries , and our church . We can ’ t emotionally support our children if we harbor bitterness or resentment in our heart toward the fathers of our children . So don ’ t focus on the struggle , focus on God . God is the author and finisher of everything .
Some of us have allowed our struggles to cripple us for years . We ’ ve allowed it to consume us to the point where it can feel like a debilitating disease eating at our very core . For us to endure the struggles prayer will be essential . We have to be prepared to have a ready word in our hearts . We have to trust the word of the Lord will not come back to Him empty ( Isaiah 55:11 ). Find a scripture that will help you endure your struggle . Pray for your children and pray for their fathers . Pray in faith knowing all things will work out for God ’ s glory .
Damika Davis is the founder of the Daughters Delivered by Grace Foundation which supports and encourages single mothers to pursue their dreams . Damika is a motivational speaker and the mother of a beautiful and vibrant little girl .
For more information about the Daughters Delivered by Grace Foundation , go to www . daughtersdeliveredbygrace . org
Spring 2013 / The Well Magazine 27