Living Well
Delivered from Guilt Forgiving herself helped her find grace to help others
By
W
Damika Davis hen I found out I was pregnant I was an emotional mess . I was excited about the opportunity to bring life into this world but I felt extremely guilty . I was going to be a single mother . Not only was I coming out of a failed relationship , but after my daughter was born , I went through postpartum depression . Although I made it through postpartum depression , I allowed guilt to control my life and consume me for many years . I knew from experience what it was like to be raised in a single family home and I watched my mother endure her struggles raising two children alone . Raised on the South Side of Chicago in the Ida B . Wells Homes , resources were limited , but the love of my strong-willed mother encouraged me to reach for the stars . As a single mother at the age of 26 , I was afraid because I knew the struggles I would have to endure . I chose to hold onto my guilt , not forgive myself and therefore , not allow myself to heal .
In my selfishness , I pushed my child ’ s father away , not allowing him an opportunity to try to be a father to his child . My turning point of healing came when my daughter started displaying the same feelings of rejection and emotional aggression that I had . It was a wake up call . I knew it was time for me to set an example . My daughter was my light and path to an understanding of God ’ s love and despite what I thought to be mess it was His way of using me for ministry . Valuable time was lost but the wisdom learned is a testimony to encourage other single mothers to get over it and endure . I can ’ t make up for the lost time I blocked , but it ’ s a joy to see my daughter ’ s relationship with her father grow . I started The Daughters Delivered By Grace Foundation in 2010 because I wanted to give single mothers what I sometimes found difficult to find . Sometimes I felt stuck when looking for assistance , not just financially but emotionally . The Daughters Delivered By Grace Foundation is dedicated to impacting the lives of single mothers by inspiring , empowering , and connecting them with other single mothers . The foundation has presented
workshops to encourage single mothers to establish a plan to raise a healthy family including in-depth discussions about dealing with hurt , fears , anxiety and guilt . We are here to help mothers continue with education , stay financially stable , pursue a career , raise healthy productive families and build positive relationships with the fathers of their children while allowing them to heal from their hurt in the process . It ' s very important for single mothers to stay in prayer , have help with a network of others that share the same experiences , and get counseling for themselves and their child if necessary . This is not something you have to endure alone . God can turn our struggles into testimonies to help someone else .
26 The Well Magazine / Spring 2013