It has a bright glowing flame promising to
never burn out, in memory of the fallen Warriors.
Chamille follows behind, almost guiding me to the
flame. I feel its warmth as the glow reflects off my
face.
“I know that feeling of loneliness. Every
day since I came home 9 years ago. Left a hero.
Returned a monster. ‘You’ve changed’ they tell
me. ‘What happened to the Aaron we used to
know?’ They couldn’t understand anything I tried
to explain. So I stopped. They weren’t like me
and I was no longer like them. I was alone.”
After a couple of deep breaths I hear only
silence.
“Nightmares of graphic memories. Violent
urges, some acted upon and others buried deep
within. Guilt of my own survival. All for me to
deal with. Alone.”
She stands nearby, understanding there are
no words for comfort. She places a hand on my
shoulder and I feel hope. As much as I want to
fight it… I can’t.
“Innocent people died. Children died. My
brothers died. Because of choices I made. For
years I’ve asked God for forgiveness and for years
I’ve been ignored. Left out in the cold to fend for
myself. But tonight… tonight you changed that. I
don’t feel alone anymore. How? How did you
change that?”
My eyes begin to water.
Her hand still on my shoulder.
I want to be mad at God for sending her to
me. For giving me this hope I was so content on
abandoning a few hours earlier. But I can’t help
but feeling thankful.
I turn to give my gratitude.
But she’s gone.
She’s gone, but I‘m not alone.
Hope radiates through my body
The sun begins to peek over the horizon.
A coyote howls in the distance.
I slide my hands into the warm pocket of
the hoody, stroll back to my truck and drive home.
—
10