The Warrior Heart November 2014 | Page 14

I signed my orders and started packing up the family to move back to Ohio. I think everyone was happy to be moving back, but at the same time we all knew why. The time came to say goodbye a month after we moved back. One of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life was looking at my youngest son, giving him a hug and kiss, not knowing if I was ever going to see him again. It was so hard because he was still a baby and had no idea what was happening and I had no way to make him understand. My wife remained pretty strong on the outside, as did the kids. As much as they could anyway. We reported to the drill center and began the pre-deployment paperwork. Wills, power of attorneys, etc. A few days later we loaded our gear onto planes at Cleveland Airport to 29 Palms, for our deployment workup. During that short time, all we could think about was getting some libo in Las Vegas, because we were going to see our wives and families one last time. The down side to those couple days was the black cloud being directly overhead and we knew at any moment the rain would begin to fall. Everyone tried to have fun but most of us had a strong feeling as soon as we returned to 29 Palms we would be packing for Iraq. Sure enough, that’s what happened. sert we realized how in the middle of nowhere we really were. Not 30 minutes after we arrived at the FOB, a suicide car bomb blew up at the ECP. Not long after, 3 mortars and a couple rockets followed and we now had a clear picture this was going to be a long hard 7 months. My platoon was assigned to MSR security and was a mobile assault platoon. Throughout the deployment we encountered mines, IED’s, suicide bombers and firefights. We had hundreds of incidents of indirect fire landing inside the wire. It happened almost daily. Our company lost 48 Marines and Corpsman during our 2005 deployment. With that brief over view said, and very brief it is, I’m going to get into the continuing war. The silent war many of us still fight in our heads every day. PTSD. When our unit returned to Camp Lejeune, some of our wives came to see us. They couldn’t wait the few days for us to return to Ohio, mine included. I went out into town and got a room at a hotel we stayed in when I was in SOI. I was standing on the balcony when she pulled in to the parking lot not knowing fully what to expect when I saw her for the first time. Everyone has a picture in their heads about this special moment and more often than not, that moment never lives up to the expectations in our minds. We emMost of us had a good idea braced, but at that moment, deep where we were going to be sta- down we both knew something was tioned once we landed in Iraq. The very different. bulk of our company went to Haditha Dam, while some of us, includWe returned to Ohio with a ing me, were to be stationed at Hero’s welcome and went our sepaF.O.B Hit. Not long after arriving rate ways with families and friends at Al Asad, we loaded trucks and who came to see us at the airport. headed to our bases. Those of us The big welcome home was short heading to FOB Hit had already lived and soon I was faced with all been told stories about the base re- the normal stresses of civilian life. ceiving a lot of indirect fire and sui- Bills, kids, no job to return to, and cide bombers, but had no idea how not able to receive unemployment bad it was. because they overpaid me at some point a long time ago. Not long afAs we set out across the de- ter our return, to add to the strife, The Warrior Heart November 2014 - 14