Experience is the best teacher, a wise person once said. I learned many lessons in the 17 years I owned my inn, and the most important ones were around marriage salvation. My spouse and I were much happier once we decided against innkeeping as a couple. Crisis averted when he went off to do his own thing. My post B&B training as a life coach has given me great insights that I hope will serve you at your inn. Here are some tips on how to care for your relationship while caring for your guests.
Marriage Trumps All
Declare at the outset to make your relationship the Number One Priority. Period. End of story. Nothing will bring a B&B down faster than the divorce of the owners. Instead of the question of 'who gets the kids,' the decision of 'who gets the inn' will vaporize the romantic dream of inn ownership.
I've got your six
This means, "I've got your back, and you've got mine and we're in this together." To avoid the factory installed challenges of working with a
spouse, declare in advance to not take anything personally, to choose your battles wisely and to avoid each other's hot buttons (tall orders all!) Mutual trust and respect will fend off the wildest of threats.
Be a Grown-Up
Vow to take total responsibility for your own behavior in the relationship. If there is an issue that becomes the elephant in the room, be willing to ask yourself: what can I be responsible for in the manifestation of this elephant? Absolutely no blame game or hall sex. What is hall sex? It is passing each other in the hall and spouting "screw you" to one another.
Married to Innkeeping
by Mary Lotto Ross
Working
with your spouse