How many nights must I spend crying alone?
How many times must I question my existence?
How many times must I ask myself,
“When will I be happy again?”
How many times do I have to look in the mirror and see a pitiful face staring back at me?!
How many times must I walk through the fog?
How many times must I face this raging storm?
How many times must I struggle in vain?
These cycles will never end, and nothing will change.
My judges won’t be replaced, my shoes won’t be fixed, my dark nights will continue, and my despair will forever be bound.
There is no exit to this maze.
Stop searching, the voices whisper.
But I can’t! Because deep down in my heart I still cling to hope.
Because hope is my only way out. My only ticket to a normal life.
But my resolve is not enough. No matter what I’m pulled back down into the shadows.
Abandoned. Forgotten.
Unloved. Lost.
Broken. Devastated.
Corned and scared.
I’m trapped, trapped in my own mind.
Constantly tortured by my own demons.
I continue to struggle, to scream, but to no avail.
Like Alice, I fear I may drown in my own tears.
Can’t you hear me?
Won’t you save me?
Save me from myself.