The TRADE 62 - Q4 2019 | Page 16

[ M E N TA L H E A LT H ] Fall down seven times, stand up eight For World Mental Health Day on 10 October, a senior buy-sider shared his story with The TRADE about his struggles with mental health issues. I t would be reasonably straight- forward for me to use this forum to talk about a subject such as the impact of MiFID II, the Share Trading Obligation or algo wheels. I am relatively comfortable there. However, one of my former bosses always used a great phrase: “Get uncomfortable”. Upon reviewing the recent In- ternational Trader Forum agenda, I noted that there was nothing on the timetable for mental health and awareness. I understand why, it’s difficult to talk about. However, World Mental Health day is a good time to discuss what still seems a taboo subject. Even in an increas- ingly electronic world, the industry is still driven by humans. The wellbeing of those individuals and teams is therefore paramount. One in four people globally have suffered a mental health issue. I am one of those people. My wife 16 // TheTrade // Winter 2019 and I separated almost a decade ago, not long after the birth of our twins. Life suddenly became very hard, we had three children under three years old and it was extreme- ly challenging. We struggled. I was neither a supportive enough husband nor father. Subsequently, we separated and that’s when I suffered my mental health issues. On my own, I had time to assess my life, probably too much time, to contemplate everything. I would spend hours at the weekend, just walking and ultimately suffering depression that led to suicidal thoughts. Reflecting back at that time now is hard but incredibly cathartic. At the time, I didn’t open up my true feelings to anyone. I was struggling but continued to work, smile and act normally. I’d grown up in an era where the phrase “man up” was almost constantly uttered at those showing emotion. I never felt comfortable telling anyone that I was really struggling. One day I realised I had to get help and needed to open up. I don’t really know what triggered that, but I hit a low point and could not take it anymore. That was the best thing I ever did. Suddenly, I real- ised that sharing my vulnerabilities actually made me a stronger and better person. Around that time, whilst reading the basketball coach Phil Jackson’s autobiography, I came across the Japanese proverb “Fall down seven times, stand up eight”. It is a great mantra. Life will knock you and, you know what, it's fine to fall down, but we have to keep standing up and develop that resilience. The rate of suicides in Britain rose sharply in 2018 to its highest level since 2002 according to the Office for National Statistics. A