The Soultown! Volume IV: Issue 1 JANUARY 2020 | Page 24
Dear Gabby
Dear Queen Gabby,
The communication between my
significant other and I has changed. He
has resorted to texting and I have not
heard his voice in weeks, but he assures
me -- via text -- that he is still committed
to our relationship. I realize you may
think the answer is obvious, but he is still
texting. I guess I’m seeking advice from a
female’s perspective on what causes this
or the possible reasons that his behavior
has changed. I guess I’m curious about
what Big Q thinks too.
~ In a Complicated State of Mind
Dear In a Complicated State of Mind,
Girl, he’s not that into you. You used the word
“changed,” meaning at one point he was
picking up the phone and making the call, and
now he’s just texting. Something changed
and he realized he doesn’t like you as he did.
If you are in a committed relationship then
why can’t he answer the phone? What is he
doing? Try not communicating with him at all
and see how that goes. I hope it works out,
but it’s a no for me, sis. A man who wants
you is going to communicate effectively. Put
it in his ear and see what he says, hopefully,
he’s not leading you on. Sounds like he’s into
someone else, who knows?
~ Queen Gabby
Dear Queen Gabby,
FYI, I’m asking Big Q too. A new decade is
here and of course a new year. I’d like to
make some changes to how I communicate
with my friends and my significant other. I
guess I’ll call this a resolution. I plan to not
answer questions or requests immediately.
I’d like to take a day, 24 hours to respond.
I believe this will prevent me from signing
up for tasks I do not have the time for, as
well as allowing me enough time to look at
my schedule and determining if I want to
24
engage in the request. When I shared this
resolution with my man, he agreed with
me. Once I told him it would apply to him
too, he changed his mind and called me
a Diva. How can I convince him that this
year my goal is to take care of me first and
this is how I plan to do it without turning
this into a serious disagreement?
~ Brand New Me
Dear Brand New Me,
I think this is a great idea. We often sign
up things we shouldn’t be doing or want
to do. Try it out for a month or so and see
how it works. Now as far as your significant
other, of course, he doesn’t agree when it
comes to him. He wants all access to you;
he doesn’t want to be on hold, but it should
apply to him too. You’re not a diva, you just
want to make sure you’re doing what’s right
for you and that’s cool. If you explain to him
your reasoning in detail then I think he would
understand. Do it for you and your sanity,
pretty sure you won’t be as stressed. Thanks
for sending this question in, I might add this
to my agenda.
~ Queen Gabby
Dear Queen Gabby,
I am a single, attractive Black woman with
a couple of male friends. I’d like to be
honest with them and tell them about one
another, but I do not want to lose either.
What I want is the freedom to be honest
with both of them -- without judgment --
and enjoy what we have in our intimate
friendships. Do you think I have an
unreasonable request? I’ll ask Big Q too.
~ Open & Honest
Dear Open & Honest,
Okay, Nola Darling. Lol. What do mean
exactly when you say “intimate?” Are you
having sex with these men? Because that
complicates things. If not, and you are truly
just friends, then you should be able to
discuss anything with anyone. Don’t care
about judgments, live for you and have fun!
Hey, they might love the honesty. It also
makes for a great conversation. Your request
is not unreasonable, girl; it just seems like
you are worried about what they think of you.
I would just be open, and see where it goes.
~ Queen Gabby ,
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DEAR GABBY
Female Advice Columnist
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Learn more about Queen Gabby’s advice at
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Email Me: [email protected]
Jan. 2020 • Immortalizing Our Stories to Implore Positive Progress In Our Communities • thesoultown.com