The Soultown! Volume IV: Issue 1 JANUARY 2020 | Page 24

Dear Gabby Dear Queen Gabby, The communication between my significant other and I has changed. He has resorted to texting and I have not heard his voice in weeks, but he assures me -- via text -- that he is still committed to our relationship. I realize you may think the answer is obvious, but he is still texting. I guess I’m seeking advice from a female’s perspective on what causes this or the possible reasons that his behavior has changed. I guess I’m curious about what Big Q thinks too. ~ In a Complicated State of Mind Dear In a Complicated State of Mind, Girl, he’s not that into you. You used the word “changed,” meaning at one point he was picking up the phone and making the call, and now he’s just texting. Something changed and he realized he doesn’t like you as he did. If you are in a committed relationship then why can’t he answer the phone? What is he doing? Try not communicating with him at all and see how that goes. I hope it works out, but it’s a no for me, sis. A man who wants you is going to communicate effectively. Put it in his ear and see what he says, hopefully, he’s not leading you on. Sounds like he’s into someone else, who knows? ~ Queen Gabby Dear Queen Gabby, FYI, I’m asking Big Q too. A new decade is here and of course a new year. I’d like to make some changes to how I communicate with my friends and my significant other. I guess I’ll call this a resolution. I plan to not answer questions or requests immediately. I’d like to take a day, 24 hours to respond. I believe this will prevent me from signing up for tasks I do not have the time for, as well as allowing me enough time to look at my schedule and determining if I want to 24 engage in the request. When I shared this resolution with my man, he agreed with me. Once I told him it would apply to him too, he changed his mind and called me a Diva. How can I convince him that this year my goal is to take care of me first and this is how I plan to do it without turning this into a serious disagreement? ~ Brand New Me Dear Brand New Me, I think this is a great idea. We often sign up things we shouldn’t be doing or want to do. Try it out for a month or so and see how it works. Now as far as your significant other, of course, he doesn’t agree when it comes to him. He wants all access to you; he doesn’t want to be on hold, but it should apply to him too. You’re not a diva, you just want to make sure you’re doing what’s right for you and that’s cool. If you explain to him your reasoning in detail then I think he would understand. Do it for you and your sanity, pretty sure you won’t be as stressed. Thanks for sending this question in, I might add this to my agenda. ~ Queen Gabby Dear Queen Gabby, I am a single, attractive Black woman with a couple of male friends. I’d like to be honest with them and tell them about one another, but I do not want to lose either. What I want is the freedom to be honest with both of them -- without judgment -- and enjoy what we have in our intimate friendships. Do you think I have an unreasonable request? I’ll ask Big Q too. ~ Open & Honest Dear Open & Honest, Okay, Nola Darling. Lol. What do mean exactly when you say “intimate?” Are you having sex with these men? Because that complicates things. If not, and you are truly just friends, then you should be able to discuss anything with anyone. Don’t care about judgments, live for you and have fun! Hey, they might love the honesty. It also makes for a great conversation. Your request is not unreasonable, girl; it just seems like you are worried about what they think of you. I would just be open, and see where it goes. ~ Queen Gabby , SCAN THE QR CODE TO GET THE SOULTOWN MAGAZINE ON YOUR MOBILE DEVICE. DEAR GABBY Female Advice Columnist ----------------------------------------------- Learn more about Queen Gabby’s advice at thesoultown.com Email Me: [email protected] Jan. 2020 • Immortalizing Our Stories to Implore Positive Progress In Our Communities • thesoultown.com