The Soultown! Volume III: Issue 9 SEPTEMBER 2019 | Page 25

DEAR GABBY Girls Trip or Nahhh? few different guys, some of them know each other. Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden or nahhhhhhh? (East Palo Alto, IA) ~ IJS DEAR GABBY Female Advice Columnist ----------------------------------------------- Learn more about Queen Gabby’s advice at http://www.thesoultown.com/dear-gabby.html Email Me: [email protected] Dear Gabby, Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship? I love my dude, but I’m not happy, actually I am bored with everything. I’ve shared this with him and he seems to be very happy with me/us. He says if I just get out of my funk, things will be better between us. (Waterloo, IA) ~ Unhappy Maybe Dear Unhappy Maybe, Blunt answer, no I would not compromise my happiness for anything or anyone. If he’s happy, but you are not, then that means he’s getting his way a lot more than you are. If you are bored, try to spice things up. Do something that you two don’t normally do. If he begins to lose interest in this new spice, then I would say you two are not compatible. Both of you must be happy. If he can’t see this, then your man is selfish. The funk that you are in is justifiable. Get your happiness back, even if it means you have to leave him. ~ Gabby ------------------------------------- Dear Gabby, Honestly, I have a hard time determining what I like. Because of this, I have dated a Dear IJS, I just recently went through something like this girl. I feel like in the “getting to know you phase,” women often bring up past relationships. I believe we do this to kind of give the person we are interested in, insight as to how we want to be loved. During this time we talked about what didn’t work, hoping that it won’t be a problem in the new relationship that you are trying to start. Dating is a process of weeding out who is good or bad for you. Check the climate of the conversation and see if it’s safe to bring up exes. If he is already doing so, then engage. If not, I would probably save all the hurt for another time. I just recently found out that letting everything out right away is not always a good thing. I like to be upfront. I think this works best, otherwise, you could be wasting your time sis. ~ Gabby ------------------------------------- Dear Gabby, My homegirl asked me what’s the one thing about me you’d like to change? I wish she hadn’t asked me because I was honest with her and she stopped talking to me. I told her that her body odor was off-putting. Why do people ask you questions they do not want to know the answer to? smh (Cedar Rapids, IA) ~ Imperfection Dear Imperfection, Hilarious! I think you should have started with something a little subtle first. Like “your hairstyle last weekend didn’t fit you,” or maybe “girl, you’re too good for the guy you’re with.” I feel like both of those statements allow for some immediate change. You jumped in the deep end and expected your friendship to remain solid. Now often people say that want you to keep it real, but they don’t. If you two are friends then you should have thought about if she was the sensitive type or not. Her feelings are hurt, and you might want to kiss that friendship goodbye. People don’t want to hear that they stink. She’s so offended right now, and I am so humored. People ask you these types of questions because they need validation, not the truth. From here on out you could keep it real no matter what, or use discretion. ~ Gabby ------------------------------------- Dear Gabby, I have a lot of female friends that do not get along with each other. I mentioned to a couple of them and immediately they told me they would go if she doesn’t go or she won’t go. I want to plan a girls trip with ALL of my friends. Is this possible? Am I expecting too much? Or do I just need a new group of friends? (Waterloo, IA) ~ Girls Trip or Nahhhhh? Dear Girls Trip or Nahhhhh? Girls will be girls. Invite them all and whoever shows up, shows up. We are just getting too old for the pettiness. Sometimes I find myself inviting friends who are the most fun. Girls trips are supposed to be memorable, so go with who you think will be the most turned up! If you have a friend that is telling you she won’t go if another girl goes… then she should stay at home because she’s telling you if they both go there will be drama. I don’t think you should get new friends, new friends come with new problems. It is possible to plan a successful trip, just go with the girls who are the least dramatic. ~ Queen Gabby , Sept. 2019 • The Soultown International Magazine • Celebrating 2 years • Connecting Our Cultures to Our Cyber & Conscious Communities • thesoultown.com 25