The Soultown! Volume III: Issue 11 NOVEMBER 2019 | Page 25

BIG Q! Race Is Not A Factor When Love Is Involved Dear Big Q, Last night a platonic male friend wanted to hang out. He is Latino and I am Black. I suggested we go see a movie, he agreed. He let me choose the movie. I chose Harriet, he said Harriet who? Causally I said, you know Harriet who freed the slaves, he said oh, Harriet Rogers? I just stared at him with a blank face and decided to uninvite him and go with another group of my Black friends. Was I wrong? (Chicago, IL) ~ History Buff Dear History Buff, Yes, in my opinion, you were dead wrong. The reason that I feel that you were wrong is that you could have used this opportunity to educate your friend. To be honest I would have probably been irritated as well if one of my friends didn’t know who Harriet Tubman was. But this would have made me more excited for him to watch the movie so that he could learn more about her, the slave movement, and African American people in general. Either this guy skipped class the day that they talked about slavery and Harriet Tubman, he attended class and didn’t listen, or his school didn’t talk about her at all. Regardless of what the reason was, you should never pass up the chance to inform anyone about our history and what we have been through over the years. There was nothing wrong with going with your friends to the movie, but maybe you should have let him tag along as well. Oh and by the way, who the heck is Harriet Rogers?!!! ~ Big Q --------------------------------- Dear Big Q, I am a Black, single and honestly, happily divorced woman. I love my freedom, and frankly, my closet space. I have friends that live all over the country, of all cultures, who are married. They are always trying to hook me up with men that aren’t Black. Should I tell them I am not interested in men that don’t look like me OR test the non-black waters? Please be honest, save the politically correct rhetoric. (Waterloo, IA) ~ Satisfied & Single Satisfied & Single, Lol ... I always keep it honest in my responses and stay away from politically correct answers. This is why I’m assuming that you are asking my opinion on this situation. My question to you would be, do you like cream in your coffee?? Or more simply put, are you attracted to men of other races? In my opinion, the answer is closer to YES, than it is NO. The reason I feel this way is because you are questioning it. Most people that are not fond of dating outside of their race wouldn’t even question the situation. Who knows? Maybe you may date someone of another race and love it or maybe it might not be your cup of tea at all. The bottom line is that you probably need to experience it first so you can form your own legitimate opinion. Therefore, I feel that you should test the non-black waters so you can see where it takes you and how it makes you feel. One thing that I learned a long time ago is that true LOVE has nothing to do with race or ethnicity. It is all about your heart and the compatibility of the two individuals that are involved. Take this into consideration and step out of your comfort zone and give it a try. If it doesn’t work for you, at least you can say you gave it a chance. Good luck Ms. Lady. ~ Big Q --------------------------------- Dear Big Q, I haven’t worn heels in years. I don’t have to in my line of work and frankly, I am a boot girl. My dude and I went out last week and it was nice out and I wore a flat sandal. As soon as he saw me, he looked disappointed. When the time was right I asked him if he was ok? He said he thought maybe for once I would have worn heels out. Mmmmm I have never worn heels out with him and when we met I had on tennis shoes. Should I be trippin or not? (San BIG Q Male Advice Columnist ----------------------------------------------- Learn more about Big Q’s advice at http://www.thesoultown.com/big-q-.html Email Me: [email protected] Francisco, CA) ~ Cute in My Boots Dear Cute in My Boots, No, you should not be trippin because your man wants to see you in high heel shoes, as long as he asks you to do so in a respectful manner. In my opinion, I feel that a woman can be sexy in boots, gym shoes, or high heels. The only issue is that your boyfriend may see it differently. Maybe he only wants you to wear heels when both of you attend certain engagements that people are dressed up and in that type of attire. My advice to you would be to try and wear heels occasionally if that’s what makes your man happy. You may even be able to possibly persuade him to buy you heels if he wants to see you wear them more. That way you wouldn’t even have to spend your own money on purchasing them. Either way, it goes, the goal is to learn how to compromise in a relationship to make your partner happy and in my opinion, this is something small that you can do to make him happy. Just quit being stubborn and add a few pairs of sexy high heels to your wardrobe. At the end of the day, you may start to enjoy wearing them more than what you thought you would. Have a wonderful day sweetheart. ~ Big Q , Nov. 2019 • The Soultown International Magazine • Celebrating 2 years • Connecting Our Cultures to Our Cyber & Conscious Communities • thesoultown.com 25