The Soultown! Volume III: Issue 11 NOVEMBER 2019 | Page 24

DEAR GABBY You Are A Woman Who Is Black, Not the Opposite may end up single, but at least you’d have all the “me time” in the world. Subtract time alone and you lose yourself, so remember to take care of you first. ~ Gabby DEAR GABBY Female Advice Columnist ----------------------------------------------- Learn more about Queen Gabby’s advice at http://www.thesoultown.com/dear-gabby.html Email Me: [email protected] Dear Gabby, Once a month I spend a day with myself. I shop only for me, take myself to a movie and even try a new restaurant, alone. This time alone allows me to do some self-reflection and review my actions of last month to determine how I can improve. It also helps me think of positive behaviors and thoughts for the months to come. My man-friend understands most months, but lately, he has been acting jealous as if he is jealous of apparently me spending time with me. Can you please explain to me how I should handle this situation? I on the verge of telling his ego off! (East Palo Alto, CA) ~ Unapologetically Black and Woman Dear Unapologetically Black and Woman, Spending time with yourself is mandatory. We need time away from people, rather if it’s getting our mind together or spoiling ourselves. I’m guessing he has some time for himself as well, if not he should seek some. I would communicate and let him know that there’s a certain amount of time that you need alone. Advise that it makes you a better person and that you’d appreciate it if he understood this. If he continues to act jealous, then take more and more time for yourself. You ------------------------------------- Dear Gabby, Often I have asked myself am I a Black woman? Or a woman who is Black? This question often arises when I am put in situations where gender roles are in question. I don’t consider myself to be a feminist, but I do claim to be a pro-black activist. Can you help me determine when I should respond as a Black woman or a woman who is Black first? (San Francisco, CA) ~ IJS Dear IJS, Hmmmm, I would say that you are a woman who is black. There are only two genders, male and female. We fall into one of those categories first, then race plays a factor. When people look at you, I feel like they see gender, then immediately, race. I know it might sound weird because as a black woman myself I feel as though people harp on my blackness before anything. Not to mention the various situations we find ourselves in that reminds us that we are black every day. Emotionally, physically, and mentally you are going to feel like a woman first. You are going to be considered by everyone else like a black woman; either way… be proud sis! ~ Gabby and it seems like there is not enough money to make it through the holidays. How I can give gifts, pay bills and stay afloat without being in the poor house? Any suggestions would help. (Redwood City, CA) ~ Dollar Dollar Bill Dear Dollar, Dollar Bill, I feel where you’re coming from. We know this time is coming every year, and still not prepared. I usually create a budget and think of cool inexpensive gifts. I mean people always say it’s the thought that counts, but honestly, everyone wants a gift. Keep it simple… 10 or 20 dollars per person, that’s all. Therefore, your bills are still paid and everyone is happy. Don’t drive yourself crazy! Next year try planning ahead and maybe you won’t be so stressed. I’m sure everyone is in the same boat, but you only can do what you can do. Happy holidays gyrl! ~ Gabby ~ Queen Gabby , SCAN THE QR CODE TO GET THE SOULTOWN ON YOUR MOBILE DEVICE ------------------------------------- Dear Gabby, This time of year, everything is so expensive Nov. 2019 • The Soultown International Magazine • Celebrating 2 years • Connecting Our Cultures to Our Cyber & Conscious Communities • thesoultown.com 24