The Soultown! Volume III: Issue 11 NOVEMBER 2019 | Page 10

LEAVE IT ALL UP TO STEVE
Handle Microagressions with Kindness
ATLANTA, GA - Hey Steve, I noticed last
month, there was a story on the importance
of a community losing its voice. Is this
important? We do not have leaders in the Black
communities as we did in the past. There are
no modern-day Dr. Kings or Malcolm Xs. Are
the leaders of the Black churches the leaders
of the community?
(Waterloo, IA)
~ Seemingly Lost & Confused
Well Seemingly Lost & Confused,
Our collective voice or lack thereof is always
important. In the past, the church was more than
a place for spiritual enlightenment. It was the epi-
center for hope, communication, strategy, and
refuge. It provided a life within itself and gave to
our ancestors’ things that the outside world would
not give like education, business, family, and
opportunities. While it seems that the voice of our
community is being silenced, there are many still
speaking truth to power. We may not have notables
like Dr. King or Malcolm X, but there are many with
boots on the ground fighting for the modern-day
freedoms of our people. Technology and social
media have helped and hindered our causes.
It helps because now in a matter of seconds
a message can be shared with millions. On the
contrary, we have so many messages and things
competing for our attention that our communities
are often overwhelmed with which voice to listen
to daily. Our efforts and organizational strategies
were more focused in the past. As a community,
we have to continue to have a seat at the table
and a voice to those who could not or would not
listen. We have to continuously advocate for own
freedoms. Dig in, connect with local freedom
fighters. In the words of Solomon Burke, none of
us are free if one of us is chained. Keep fighting,
stay strong.
~ Steve
Hey Steve,
My family lives all over the country. During
the holidays, it is always expected for me to
decide where the holidays will be spent, buy
all of the food, cook the food and clean the
dishes. I moved out west last year and with the
travel time, I just can’t do it this year. How do I
inform the family of the obvious changes?
(Las Vegas, NV)
~ Leader of the Pack
Dear Leader of the Pack,
What in the hell kind of leader are you? This looks
like you are the one being led and unfortunately
down a path of despair. Coordinating, cooking,
cleaning and buying all of the food sounds more
like slavery and less like the meaning of family or
the holidays. You moved away, but you still have
long-distance shackles. Emancipate yourself
TODAY! I know it’s complicated - the very people
that say they love and cherish you will also take
advantage of you under the guise of “family.” Here
is what you need to do: send an email or text to
your family members saying “unfortunately, my
schedule prohibits me coordinating or hosting for
the holidays, but please let me know the holiday
plans and if I am able, I will arrange to attend.”
If there is any push-back, send an “f-you” emoji
and a pic with you and friends eating and having
fun during the holidays. Choose you, choose your
happiness, embrace your peace. Let me know
what happens. I am right here rooting for you!
the altar. I flipped out. How do I cope
with the microaggressions in the
workplace from African Americans?
(Redwood City, CA)
~ Black & Proud
Yo Black & Proud -
I get it. Microaggressions irritate me as
well. I notice them and may even be
hypersensitive to them; however, the
worst way to address a microaggression
is with rage. Many microaggressions
come from a place of unconscious
bias so it is important to confront these
issues head-on. You have to keep
your head. If not, the aggressor will
concentrate on your behavior and not
theirs. In this instance, it may have
helped to ask your boss why they
~ Steve
Hey Steve,
I am one of very few African Americans at
my job, but my direct supervisor is African
American, too. For a Halloween photo, I was
tasked to design tombstones with some teens.
My tombstone contained the R.I.P., along with
Sandra Bland, Oscar Grant, Eric Garner,
Tupac, Biggie and Aretha Franklin.
When my supervisor saw it, he
moved it away from the other
tombstones and placed it on
the Dia De Los Muertos altar.
Tombstones do not belong on
Nov. 2019 • The Soultown International Magazine • Celebrating 2 years • Connecting Our Cultures to Our Cyber & Conscious Communities • thesoultown.com
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