Marriage can mean different things according to the time and place of the culture and the people involved. What for some couples may be obvious decisions may make others think twise. And when the parties that make up the couple come from two different cultures, those decisions may result in turmoil. But you've made it work thus far and you can take the next step with your significant other in the same way! Remember, your relatinoship is just that, yours. So what if you are doing something no one's ever seen before? That's what makes you two work! First things first, talk to your parents, ask them what is culturally important to them, and what isn't and make sure you respect each other's families wishes as much as possible. Next, start planning! Remember though that you are planning for a wedding and a marriage; and that one is much more important than the other.
Marriage:
The Big Step
Let's Get toGether
Making your BiRacial Relationship Work
Wedding Rituals Around the World:
- China: In China modern brides pick not one wedding dress, but three!
- India: Before an Indian bride gets married she and her female family and friends paint her hands with elaborate designs called menhdi.
- Jewish: In Jewish weddings the groom crushes a glass under his foot at the end of the ceremony, with guests shouting "Mazel Tov!" (good luck) after.
Of couse there is no guidebook that applies to every cross-cultural or interractial relationship out there. And differences in culture may not necessarily be the end all, be all they are chalked up to be. Similar socio-economic backgrounds, family life, and the history behind the cultures involved can either help or hinder you situation. Some relationships are bound to be more charged than others, like for instance an African-American man dating a white woman in the South. However, with 1 in 7 new marriages in the United States between people of different ethnicities, it's very possible to have a long and happy relatinoship. Here are 3 tips to make it work:
- Be sensitive to their feelings. Know that you can never fully understand someone else's life experiences and how those circumstances led to their current point of view. Accept that and instead put effrot into helping them work through problems regardless.
- Focus on the thickness of your skin. Know that you will face inevitable issues together. There will always be naysayers and people with offensive things to say but remember that you are a team that requires the support of both of it's members.
- Communication is key. This is age-old advice for any couple but particularly an interrecial one. If you don't speak up when things make you uncomfortable, your partner will have no idea. Talk about issues and decide what is the best way to handle them should they arise again.
Being in a cross-cultural relationship will affect how you interact with the world, you're now dealing with two perspectives instead of one. But your race and culture is not he only reason you fell in love, your personalities are as well. So remember that and you'll be on a good track.