4D printer: overview of recent invention
Burchell, P.*
*SJ IS. [email protected]
Introduction
Much of the world is still coming to terms with the revolutionary 3D printer emerging in the 21st century. However, as a direct result of Moore’s law [1], the 4D printer has already passed through all the prototyping, patenting, quality control phases, and was released yesterday to the public. However, each unit is sold with the explicit warning that it must never be used.
Discussion
Printing 4-dimensional objects from these machines results in a 3D object that exists simultaneously as every incarnation of its constituent matter, since the 4th dimension is time [2]. Consequently, since the original state of matter was the singularity that gave rise to the universe [3], printing even the most mundane, inert 4D object prompts nothing less than the Big Bang in the printer’s output tray.
Scientists are divided on the resulting issue. Since a 4D printing to our knowledge has not yet occurred, we do not know the implications of creating a new universe inside our own, less so the implications of creating hundreds or thousands. Our competitors from rival scientific journals have unanimously decided in favour of outlawing and destroying all 4D printing machines, citing the almost certain apocalypse [4]. SJIS is confident however in citing an impressive and consistent history of superior science to these competitors (Nature, etc), and thus their decision to declare that 4D printers are awesome and should be thoroughly tested out.
References
1. Moore, G. E (1965) ‘The machines are taking over’. Electronics Magazine. p. 4.
2. Rutter, A. M (2006) ‘Time doesn’t exist’. The Story. Lulu ID: 8982062.
3. Hawking, S & Penrose, R (1996). ‘Something came from nothing so God probably exists’. Princeton: Princeton University Press. ISBN 0-691-03 791-4.
4. (no surname) Matthew, (no surname) James, (no surname) Matthew, (no surname) John etc (0) The Bible. (No ISBN).
Image courtesy of zirconicusso / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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