Warren, Z
Original Research
6
New direction for the electromagnetic spectrum
The cartoon Bunsen Burner has been a bastion of science in textbooks, journals, magazines and television for generations. We finally managed to get a hold of one to put it to the test. Here is what we found:
Easy to transport
Reliable
Has almost limitless applications in visual media
Is one of the most stereotypical science images you can get
Does not actually function as a Bunsen Burner
Is crudely drawn
Technology review
Cartoon Bunsen Burner
Introduction
Light, originally proposed as a concept by Pythagoras, was invented by Aristotle to make seeing the world easier and was, as he says in his Meteorologica: “something to do to pass the time” (Spencer, 2013). It was not until 400 years later that the Arabian scholar Abu Ali Mohamed ibn al-Hasan Ign al-Haytham managed to make light travel in straight lines, and so could finally be utilised in a useful and constructive fashion (Spencer, 2013).
Just over 1000 years later, Galileo managed to get light to go through a telescope, which allowed space to be filled with light, creating the science of astronomy in the process (Spencer, 2013). At around the same time Zacharias Jenssen invented the microscope, but it was not used to learn about the microscopic world until Robert Hooke managed to get some light to go through a compound microscope and illuminate it (Spencer, 2013).
When Isaac Newton arrived on the scene he affected light in such a way that it would never be the same again. First he altered it so it was not just a wave but a bunch of particles as well (Spencer, 2013). Then he went and invented the colour spectrum, adding all the visible colours to the previously greyscale world (Spencer, 2013). Christiaan Huygens also added his own twist to the mix by inventing polarized light, enabling instant-print photographs (Spencer, 2013).
Some people were not happy with a handful of visible colours; they wanted invisible colours as well. In about 1800 William Herschel used a telescope, a prism and a thermometer to add the infrared end to the light spectrum, and at about the same time Johann Wilhelm Ritter added the ultraviolet end “to balance light out as it travels around” (Spencer, 2013). He did not want it to fall over and crash about his laboratory (Spencer, 2013). Then in 1832 Michael Faraday bound light with magnetism as a joke for a satirical magazine he and his university friends made to entertain themselves (Spencer, 2013).
So now, the author has decided, it is about time someone else added something to this great collaborative work of science and engineering. This paper is about this latest addition: a brand new direction for the electromagnetic spectrum.
Materials and Methods
For such an ambitious project a completely new experimental setup was required. After several preliminary experiments, an appropriate design was developed. It included a total reflection chamber (so no light could escape until it was completely ready for release into the wild) surrounded by light sources (in this case a selection of torches from the local charity shop). To so radically alter the very nature of light, three main systems were incorporated into the design: a temporal warp regulator (obviously including a wormhole generator), a circuit containing shamanic healing crystals (forged from obsidian, pure sjisium and a sprig of sage), and an ectoplasm distillery (also from the charity shop). On their own these devices may seem harmless enough, but together in this experiment they proved a powerful force for change. Further experiments were attempted with this design, after the main experiment detailed in this paper, but they had no discernible effect. It is thought that this design cannot impact the new nature of reality it helped to create.
containing shamanic healing crystals (forged from obsidian, pure sjisium and a sprig of sage), and an ectoplasm distillery (also from the charity shop). On their own these devices may seem harmless enough, but together in this experiment they proved a powerful force for change. Further experiments were attempted with this design, after the main experiment detailed in this paper, but they had no discernible effect. It is thought that this design cannot impact the new nature of reality it helped to create.