Other children have difficulty expressing their true feelings simply because they don ’ t have healthy communication skills , so they mask their true feelings by teasing and joking . Either way , this sort of teasing lacks the merit of truth , which is addressed in Ephesians 4:25 : “ Therefore , having put away falsehood , let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor , for we are members one of another .”
No matter the reason or motive , teasing to express feelings is not in line with God ’ s instructions . To verbalize what is true in the heart and then follow it with “ just joking ” is deceitful . In Proverbs 26:18 – 19 , we are told , “ Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says , ‘ I was only joking !’” God instructs His children to say what they mean and mean what they say ( Matt . 5:37 ). This verse also warns that “ anything beyond this comes from the evil one .”
Biblical and unselfish communication involves speaking the truth in love and encompasses the motive to bring good , not harm . According to Ephesians 4:15 , through this sort of communication , believers grow in maturity in Christ : “ Speaking the truth in love , we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head , that is , Christ .”
3 STEPS TO HELP A CHILD WITH TEASING
1
2
ASK HEART-PROBING QUESTIONS Asking questions helps children take ownership of the sin in their hearts , which will help them recognize their need for Jesus . You might say , “ In the Bible , we are encouraged not to do things out of selfishness but to value the needs of others above our own . Could it be that you are putting your desires to get attention or to entertain above the feelings of the person you are teasing ? Are your words showing love by building up , or are they tearing this person down ? How would you feel if you were being teased in this way ?”
These questions will help the child to begin thinking about what ’ s truly going on inside and what does and does not please God , even if they do not answer .
REPROVE YOUR CHILD FOR TEASING Don ’ t overdo your reproof . Keep it simple . You could use wisdom from Matthew 7:12 by saying , “ Jesus says we should treat others the way we would want them to treat us . Would you want to be treated this way ? When you tease , you use unwholesome talk that dishonors God and hurts others . God ’ s Word instructs us : ‘ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth .’”
3
TRAIN YOUR CHILD TO EDIFY OTHERS Now that you ’ ve set the scriptural basis to avoid teasing , follow up with training in how to be an encouragement instead of a discouragement . You might say , “ Not only are we commanded not to allow unwholesome talk to come out of our mouths , but Ephesians 4:29 also tells us to speak ‘ only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs , that it may benefit those who listen .’ Your words are not benefiting others . They are hurting others . However , the good news is that when God gives us commands , He also enables us to follow what He says through His Spirit . I encourage you to pray and ask God to help you to only speak words that will benefit and build up .”
SIN-CORRUPTED HUMOR God designed us to bring Him glory . Sometimes that manifests as thanksgiving , and sometimes , as laughing and finding amusement , pleasure , delight , and enjoyment in Him and His creation . Good-hearted laughter with others that does not bring harm or hurt is one way we enjoy the humor He has given us .
Unfortunately , like all good things God gives His children , there are times when sin corrupts and perverts humor into a behavior that is not sanctioned by or pleasing to our holy God ( often by way of teasing ). God takes sinful teasing very seriously . When a gang of boys was teasing the prophet Elisha about his bald head in 2 Kings , he called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord . Two bears came out of the woods and mauled all forty-two of them ( 2 Kings 2:23 – 24 ). That ’ s a story that is sure to get your kids ’ attention ! Elisha was the Lord ’ s prophet . To ridicule Elisha was to ridicule the Lord . The severe consequences the boys in the story suffered as a result of teasing were God ’ s warning to all who would scorn the prophet of the Lord .
We can learn from the story of the boys who jeered at Elisha , “ Get out of here , baldy !” God created Elisha ’ s bald head , just as He created us all with different personalities , characteristics , appearances , and interests . To make fun of any aspect of the unique qualities of God ’ s creation is to criticize the Creator Himself . Proverbs 17:5a says , “ Whoever mocks the poor shows contempt for their maker .” Therefore , Christians should not tear one another down through hurtful teasing that dishonors God . Instead , we are to “ encourage one another and build each other up ” ( 1 Thess . 5:11 ).
Adapted from Shawn and His Amazing Shrinking Sister © 2023 by Ginger Hubbard .
Ginger Hubbard , bestselling author of Don ’ t Make Me Count to Three , Chloe and the Closet of Secrets : A Children ’ s Book About Lying , and I Can ’ t Believe You Just Said That , speaks at women ’ s events , parenting conferences , and homeschool conventions and co-hosts the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard podcast . Visit her website at GingerHubbard . com .
RENEWANATION . ORG 45