Biblical Principles
FOR A LIFELONG MARRIAGE
By Dr . Gary Jones
The need to build and maintain strong marriages has never been greater since it is one of the primary means by which we pass our faith in God ’ s Word to the next generation . However , such a powerful and important part of God ’ s plan is the constant focus of Satan ’ s attacks , and to be successful , we must be prepared to negate their work .
The knowledge of how to maintain a strong marriage is not innate . It comes through a desire to display the love of our Lord by being a helpmate in the life of another person to whom we choose to bind ourselves in an act of Christian love . Jesus calls us to serve one another , and for marriage to succeed , servanthood is an absolute mandate , but how do we learn these roles if not in the church ? People will commit years of their life and thousands of dollars to obtain college degrees , but the majority will not spend even one week studying and preparing for a relationship of far longer duration , greater importance , and often more difficulty . There is no common understanding of the word love except in Scripture .
The only certain means of making a marriage work is to put the well-being of one another above that of our own and have Christ as the foundation . Therein lies the problem , especially for cohabitating couples , since there is no firm commitment to sacrifice their own selfish rights . This lack of commitment will invariably produce competition and inflict emotional pain that will lead to strife and destruction . The apostle Paul describes this struggle in Romans 8:5-6 : “ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh , but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit . For to set the mind on the flesh is death , but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace .”
Pure and simply spoken , marriage was created to bring glory to God . He must be the purpose of our union , or it has no hope of working in the manner that it was intended .
As pastors and marriage counselors for over thirty years , my wife and I sometimes feel like we have seen it all when it comes to successes and dysfunction in marriage . Although our social environment has radically changed in the past thirty years , we continue to believe in Ecclesiastes 1:9 , which says , “ What has been will be again , and what has been done will be done again ; there is nothing new under the sun .”
TIPS TO PREVENT MARRIAGE EROSION
Do not be unequally yoked . 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 says , “ Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers . For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness ? Or what fellowship has light with darkness ?” When you are unequally yoked in your faith , it affects every area of your marriage . Being unmatched always creates a divergence in how two people see boundaries in life and generally limits the believer ’ s ability to walk out their God-given calling in the Body of Christ . At the least , it creates tons of dissension , frustration , and disappointment .
32 THE RENEWANATION REVIEW