THREE-STEP PLAN FOR WHINE-FREE LIVING
Step One : Ask your child if he is speaking with a self-controlled voice . You might ask , “ Sweetheart , are you asking for juice with a self-controlled voice ? God wants you to use selfcontrol , even with your voice .”
Step Two : Explain that it is love that motivates you to train him . You might say , “ Honey , I love you too much to allow you to speak foolishly . Here ’ s what I ’ m going to do to help you learn selfcontrol . I ’ m going to set a timer , and when the buzzer goes off in three minutes , you may come back and ask for juice the right way .” Fun , kid-friendly timers are available at GingerHubbard . com .
Step Three : Follow through . When the buzzer goes off , have the child come back and ask for juice with a self-controlled voice . It may be necessary to demonstrate the correct way to speak to help your child along . In doing this , you are correcting him for wrong and , more important , training him in what is right .
If your child asks for something with a self-controlled voice and the answer is no , and then the child whines , you have an issue of willful defiance on your hands . This is not the time to have her ask again but to administer consequences . After consequences , however , I encourage you to walk the child through how she should have responded to your answer .
This method is effective for teaching children who ask for things in whiny voices and for children who use whiny voices as a general means of communicating . For example , if a child says in a whiny voice , “ I don ’ t like that color ” or “ My doll stroller isn ’ t rolling right ,” she ’ s not necessarily asking for something , but she is inappropriately communicating her thoughts and feelings . Whining , in this case , is simply words spoken with a bad attitude , reflecting a lack of self-control . Don ’ t indulge the child by responding to her topic , but guide her to an acceptable form of communication . Begin with the same sort of question : “ Are you talking with a self-controlled voice ?” Let them know that Mommy will only talk about this with them if they speak with selfcontrol . Then follow through with biblical reproof and training in right communication , modeling it if necessary .
AVOID POWER STRUGGLES
If the child refuses to come back and ask the right way , perhaps deciding that he doesn ’ t want the juice after all , don ’ t force him to come back when the buzzer goes off , as that can encourage a power struggle . Simply don ’ t offer the juice and let it go . However , the next time he does ask for juice ( or something else ) in a whiny voice , repeat steps one through three again .
Be consistent in training , never give in to whining , and follow through with this plan each and every time an opportunity presents itself , and you ’ ll have a whine-free life and a more joyful , self-controlled child before you know it ! ■
Ginger Hubbard , bestselling author of Don ’ t Make Me Count to Three , Chloe and the Closet of Secrets : A Children ’ s Book About Lying , and I Can ’ t Believe You Just Said That , speaks at women ’ s events , parenting conferences , and homeschool conventions and co-hosts the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard podcast . Visit her website at GingerHubbard . com .
THE
ViewFinder
A Biblical Worldview Discovery and Development Tool
A Biblical Worldview Discovery & Development Tool
How well-developed is your biblical worldview ?
The ViewFinder tool helps teenagers and adults understand what they believe about six areas of biblical worldview : God , the Bible , moral order , purpose , creation , and humanity . Individuals answer thirty questions about real-life moral dilemmas while considering how they would respond in similar situations . Results are delivered digitally , including explanations for each answer and recommended reading lists to further develop their biblical worldview . A biblical worldview certificate is included for those who achieve the highest marks .
Available digitally at renewanation . org / viewfinder for single or group use .
®
RENEWANATION . ORG 29