“ Mooooommyyyyyyy , I want some juuuuice . . .”
“ I don ’ t wanna go to sleeeeeeep . . .”
By Ginger Hubbard
“ I have to go to the baaathrooooooom . . .”
IS there anything more annoying than whining ? Perhaps , but off the top of my head , I can ’ t think of it .
Children who whine in an attempt to get what they want lack healthy communication skills . Parents must not blame the child for this behavior . Rather , they must understand that children whine simply because they are allowed to whine . Moms and dads who permit their children to whine ( by ignoring or giving in ) hinder them from learning to communicate appropriately in a way that pleases God and brings happiness to all involved .
Children who use demanding forms of communication to express their wants and needs are in bondage to their emotions and lack self-control . An enslaving addiction to whining does not make for a happy child . However , children who learn to communicate properly learn that self-control is a prerequisite for contentment , joy , and good living .
While parents agree that whining is an annoying and inappropriate form of communication , many simply do not know how to address it . Here are some helpful tips on what not to do
When Kids Whine
when your children whine , as well as a plan you can use to establish healthier patterns of communication in your home .
WRONG WAYS TO HANDLE WHINING
Scolding . According to the Bible , scolding is an angry response that will stir anger in the heart of your child : “ A gentle answer turns away wrath , but a harsh word stirs up anger ” ( Prov . 15:1 ). A mom who responds to whining by yelling , “ Stop that whining right now , or you ’ re going to get it !” is training in anger and not modeling the selfcontrol that she so desperately desires her child to learn . Correcting wrong behavior should never be an “ I ’ ll show you ” or a “ Boy , you ’ re going to get it now ” mentality . It should be given with an attitude of “ I love you too much to allow you to live an undisciplined life .”
Ignoring and / or giving in . Parents have a responsibility to train their children in wisdom for daily living . When children whine , it should be viewed as a precious opportunity to train them in self-control , not as a frustrating moment of inconvenience for mom or dad . To ignore them is to shirk your responsibility to train them . To give in by granting them what they whine for is to reward and reinforce wrong behavior .
WHINING IS A HEART ISSUE
The Bible teaches that wrong behavior is merely the outward manifestation of the real problem — the heart : “ For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of ” ( Matt . 12:34b ). A wise parent will reach past the outward behavior and address the issue of the heart , which in the case of whining is self-control and discontentment . The Bible also teaches that parents are to bring their children up in the “ training and instruction of the Lord ” ( Eph . 6:4 ). This requires that we not only correct them for wrong behavior but that we help them evaluate the heart of the matter and instruct them in right behavior . Therefore , we must take it a step further than merely telling them not to whine . We must teach them to communicate with self-control and what it means to have a heart of gratitude . Encourage your child to have a grateful heart by asking , “ What can you thank God for in this situation ?”
28 THE RENEWANATION REVIEW