My oldest son , Levi , is ten years old and communicates only two words — the “ m ” sound for “ more ” and the “ b ” sound for “ ball .” After we pray and sing each night , I tuck him into bed , and his giggles tell me that he is comfortable , safe , and not interested in going to bed anytime soon after I hit the lights .
He may never have the ability to tell me , “ Thanks , Dad ,” but he doesn ’ t have to . Levi has Down syndrome , autism , sensory processing disorder , epilepsy , and numerous complex medical needs . He is a beautiful gift from God , and I can ’ t even begin to adequately express how much I love him .
It ’ s now eleven o ’ clock , and Levi is finally asleep . Though he doesn ’ t yet need to be connected , his pulse oximeter sits near if we need to spot check or monitor his heart rate and oxygen level . His oxygen tank lies close at hand , ready in an emergency . I ensure the video monitor volume is up and prepared to echo Levi ’ s cries throughout the night or alert us to any seizures he might be having while he sleeps .
I sink into bed . Levi will probably be up in a few hours as his little body struggles most nights to sleep for an extended length of time , but for now , finally , sleep . It ’ s been a full day caring for our son and his three younger siblings . My wife and I are spent . Like each day , this one was filled with joys and sorrows as we strained to help Levi eat , play , accomplish basic tasks , try to communicate , regulate his body , and ensure that all his medical needs were met . It ’ s been a hard day . My mind , body , and spirit are tired . But a good tired . The kind of tired when you know you spent your energy on something valuable . It ’ s been a good day .
“ Levi deserved life , not primarily because of the joy he could bring us nor his potential quality of life , but supremely because God says his life has value , worth , and purpose .”
ONE PATH AHEAD : LIFE
I was twenty-one years old when I sat in a high-risk pregnancy clinic with my wife after her level-two ultrasound . Doctors told us Levi had all the markers for Down syndrome . After declining an amniocentesis , we were ushered straight away into the next room , where a genetic counselor told us we had “ options .” She explained we were too far along at twenty-two weeks pregnant to terminate in Minnesota , but they could connect us with someone in Chicago or Phoenix . My wife and I sat shell-shocked — first from the news about our son ’ s diagnosis and second from the attempts to exterminate him .
We walked out with only one path ahead : life . We didn ’ t need more tests , more counseling , or more information . Levi deserved life , not primarily because of the joy he could bring us nor his potential quality of life , but supremely because God says his life has value , worth , and purpose . Period .
We knew our son was a living human being ( Job 31:15 ), given life by God ( Job 12:10 ), created in God ’ s image ( Gen . 1:27 ) with a purpose ( Prov . 16:4 ), intricately formed by God ( Ps . 139:13 ) with no mistakes ( Exod . 4:11 ) and made for God ’ s glory ( Rom . 11:36 ). God alone has the right to give and take life — not us . God chose us to be Levi ’ s parents and would provide every ounce of grace to love and care for him .
RENEWANATION . ORG 19