“ We must never rest until everything inside us worships God .” A . W . Tozer
2 . Discuss worship expectations with your children .
Jen and I tell our children that we expect them to be calm , quiet , and pay attention . Three simple things . Some of our children learned quickly . Others tested boundaries and needed loving guidance with a whisper in the ear , a squeeze on the thigh , or even an invitation to join me in the hallway to be reminded of expectations . Children who did well were praised generously . If children are brand new to corporate worship , expect quick learners to do well after a few weeks , and slow learners to take up to a few months .
3 . Provide tools , not toys .
We want children engaged , not occupied . It ’ s great that children are present , but our goal is their participation . Rather than bringing cars or coloring books , bring a notebook , Bible , and pen . We encourage young children who cannot read to draw pictures of what they hear . Older children are expected to take notes and listen attentively . For accountability , we often encourage our children to visit the senior pastor and show him notes .
4 . Teach your children the music you sing at church .
We intentionally purchase songs that we sing at church and listen to them at home . We play worship music while children eat breakfast or clean , and in the process , they begin to become familiar with the melodies and lyrics . Guess what happens at church when they hear music they know and like ? They sing ! You can help your child by sitting in a child-friendly location so they can clearly see the front of the worship space .
5 . Lollipops !
Our goal for our children was always busy hands and quiet mouths to avoid disruptions . When the pastor began his sermon , we would pass out a lollipop to each of our children . The lollipop usually helped a child pay attention for about ten minutes . We would also strategically place the youngest children closest to a parent and the older children at the end , with Mom and Dad in the middle .
6 . Say no to bathrooms and screens .
We learned quickly that some of our children suddenly had to go to the bathroom and couldn ’ t hold it during the sermon . We made it a practice to encourage children to go to the bathroom before the worship service and only gave permission to use the bathroom in rare instances . We initiated the “ Are you going to wet your pants ?” test to determine if the bathroom was necessary .
We also do not allow screens during the service unless it is to access the Bible or use an app to take notes . As parents , we try to set a good example by not texting , using social media or checking email . Our children learn the value and form of worship by watching us . We want the affection of our heart and our mind ’ s focus on worshiping Christ ; therefore , we try to eliminate all distractions .
7 . Ask questions on the ride home .
Invite your children to share what they liked most about the sermon or a comment that stuck out to them . Sometimes our children will laugh about a funny story that was shared , and this is fine ! It means they were listening . Other times , children will ask a clarifying question about what a word or concept means . This is simply an opportunity for you to see how your children are processing the sermon and to see what really grabbed them .
Like learning anything , it takes time for young children to learn how to worship corporately . If worshipping as a family is new to you , just getting your children to sit quietly without embarrassing you or distracting others is a big win ! As a father of five , I ’ ve been there . I ’ ve been given the evil eye as someone glanced over their shoulder at me due to a loud child . If that happens , just smile , and don ’ t take it out on your child . Be gracious to yourself , your children , and others who have children . This is a season where extra grace is required .
While we need an orderly worship service , the sounds of children are a sign of health for families and churches as they pass faith on to the next generation . If you are willing to do the hard work to teach and train your children to worship corporately , your children will reap the benefits of being part of the larger church body and learning to worship .
If you want to learn more about worshipping corporately as a family , I encourage you to purchase the book Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman , which has many practical and helpful ideas . Truth78 created a children ’ s worship notebook that helps children follow along with a sermon , and our children have found this resource helpful . If you haven ’ t purchased a Bible for your child , consider getting one so the child can bring it to church for worship . May the Lord bless you as you train your child to worship God ! ■
Dr . Josh Mulvihill is the Executive Director of Church and Family Ministry at Renewanation . He served as a pastor for nearly 20 years , serves on the board of Awana , and helps to provide leadership to the Christian Grandparent Network . He holds a Ph . D . from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary . He is the author of Biblical Grandparenting , Preparing Children for Marriage , and Biblical Worldview . Josh is married to Jen , and they have five children . Josh blogs at GospelShapedFamily . com .
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