The RenewaNation Review 2020 The Collingsworth Family Special Edition | Page 25

“Every member of the family
has been given an important,
God-ordained role that is not
interchangeable with other
members of the family.”
Because the role of a grandparent is not clearly defined by
American culture, it is viewed as an extra, a role not essen-
tial to the functioning of the family or the development of
grandchildren. Grandparents fear meddling in their chil-
dren’s and grandchildren’s lives as they do not want to harm
the relationship with their adult children or lose privileges
with grandchildren. While the relationship, when it exists,
can be very positive, its limited nature removes grandpar-
ents from an important place in family life and places them
on the periphery with a minimal role. The cultural message
that is communicated: You must live your life independent
of your family.
2. YOUR ROLE IS TO BE A COMPANION
AND PLAYMATE TO YOUR GRANDCHILD
The role society gives grandparents is obvious when we look
to children’s literature about grandparenthood. A few nota-
ble titles of children’s books include Grandmas Are for Giving
Tickles and Grandpas Are for Finding Worms. The children’s
book What Grandpas and Grandmas Do Best suggests that
grandparents are for playing hide-and-seek, singing a lulla-
by, building a sandcastle, and playing games. In Grandma,
Grandpa, and Me, grandparents are to play with, work
alongside, and have fun with. Children’s literature speaks of
a grandparent’s role as one of playmate and companion.
3. YOU’VE WORKED HARD, AND NOW
IT’S TIME TO ENJOY YOURSELF
The world tells you that you did your time, and now it is
time to rest, travel, and play. The essence of this message
is that you are to indulge yourself with whatever makes
you happy. The Bible never speaks positively about a self-
focused season of life, and this is what retirement has
become for many Christians. Billy Graham writes, “Retire-
ment presents us with two choices: Either we can use it to
indulge ourselves, or we can use it to make an impact on the
lives of others.” When everything is summarized, the role
given to grandparents is independence and indulgence.
In general, society has lost its compass regarding why the
generations should interact, how they are to do so, and what
responsibilities one has to the other. A high percentage of
families have embraced an unbiblical view of grandparent-
ing and need a renewed biblical vision regarding their role
in the family and purpose in society.
THE BIBLICAL FOUNDATION FOR GRANDPARENTING
The Bible has many references to grandparenting, but
they are often missed because the Bible uses phrases such
as children’s children, son’s son, father’s father, or forefa-
ther to speak about grandparenting. As you read three
examples, pay attention to the responsibilities that God
gives grandparents.
• “Teach them [God’s commands] to your children and
your children’s children” (Deut 4:9).
• “Fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your
son’s son by keeping all his statutes and his command-
ments, which I command you, all the days of your life,
and that your days may be long. You shall love the Lord
your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your might. And these words that I command
you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them
diligently to your children...” (Deut 6:2-9).
• “Tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of
the Lord … which he commanded our fathers to teach
to their children, that the next generation might know
them, the children yet unborn” (Ps 78: 4-8).
The one word that describes the totality of a grandpar-
ent’s role biblically is the word heritage. Grandparents have
inherited a faith they are to pass on to their children (Eph
6:1-4; Deut 6:2-9) and their grandchildren (Deut 4:9; Ps
78:1-8). This is the biblical idea of heritage.
Specifically, the grandparent’s role is to be a disciple-
maker of future generations by focusing on the salvation
and sanctification of their family (Ps 78:7-8). Grandpar-
ents are to pay close attention to their own walk with Christ
(Deut 6:4) and live a Christ-centered life worthy of imitation
where they can say to a grandchild, “imitate me as I imitate
Christ.” A grandparent’s priority is to be their grandchild’s
Christ-like maturity (Col 1:28-19).
PSALM 78
Psalm 78 is one of my favorite passages to explain the role
and responsibility God has given grandparents. Psalm 78
is a historical Psalm that serves as a warning to motivate
grandparents to look at a failed example of family disci-
pleship in hopes of avoiding a similar outcome with their
family. Psalm 78:8 states, “That they should not be like their
fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation
whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful
to God.” The words “stubborn” and “rebellious” summarize
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