The RenewaNation Review 2020 The Collingsworth Family Special Edition | Page 24

UNDERSTANDING THE BIBLICAL
ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS
By Dr. Josh Mulvihill
W
HAT IS THE BIBLICAL role
of a grandparent? Biblically,
every member of the family has been given
an important, God-ordained role that is not
interchangeable with other members of the family.
Husbands are told to be the head of the home and to
lovingly lead their family (Eph 5:23). Wives are given the
role of helpmate and are to follow their husband’s leader-
ship (Gen 2:18; Eph 5:22). Children are told to honor their
parents through obedience (Exod 20:12; Eph 6:1).
If the Bible clearly defines the role of other family
members, does it also define the role of grandparents? The
Bible is clear on the subject, but American culture is not, and
many Christians have unintentionally adopted a non-bibli-
cal view of grandparenthood.
In American culture, there is great uncertainty concerning
the meaning and purpose of old age. Ambiguity surrounds
the grandparent role. For example, one author states that we
have a “cultural crisis” concerning the meaning and purpose
of old age. Another author says, “there is new uncertainty
about what it means to be a grandparent and what grand-
parents are supposed to do.” Many Christian grandparents
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do not understand their God-designed
role or the specific ways God wants them
to pass faith on to future generations.
THREE CULTURAL MESSAGES CHRISTIAN
GRANDPARENTS MUST REJECT
1. YOU NEED TO LIVE YOUR LIFE
INDEPENDENT OF YOUR FAMILY
America has unwritten expectations for grandparents,
and it is known to scholars as “the social contract.” The
core values of the social contract include non-interference
by grandparents (don’t interfere, don’t overstep, don’t be
a burden), emotional independence from children, and
personal autonomy. Families unconsciously operate accord-
ing to the agreement that children will grow up, move away,
start their own family, and become independent from one
another. Experts encourage families to aim for closeness at
a distance, but what is gained is lonely, overburdened, and
disconnected families. The social contract has amputated
generations from one another and left countless grandchil-
dren as grand-orphans who do not have the intimate influ-
ence of a grandparent in their life.