When I refused to fight him, he had
than merely copying what my parents had done. It was
his brother in the ninth grade intercept
liberating! Soon all three of my children were happily
me after school to teach me a lesson I would
ensconced in a Christian private school.
not forget. When I staggered home from school, my
The issue was not public, private, or homeschool. The key
bewildered father could only cite scriptures about being
was deciding whether I would do exactly as my parents had
“salt and light” to comfort me. In seventh grade, I was the
done or if I would find what worked best for my children.
only student in my grade who had never been heard to use
Second, parents succumb to the mind-numbing
profanity, and that bothered many of my classmates. They
influence of conventional wisdom. Conventional wis-
made it their quest to drive me to whatever extreme was
dom consists of widely held be-
necessary to motivate me to
liefs people hold because it is the
curse, and, if possible, abandon
current trend or commonly held
my faith. Perhaps the climax of
viewpoint.
These practices are
their efforts occurred when a
rarely challenged because they
student slashed my wrist with
are heralded as “common sense.”
a sharp object during class. I
There is often a kernel of truth
ultimately contracted blood
to these opinions, or perhaps
poisoning and was taken to
the methodology was effective
the hospital. Let’s just say, the
years ago, so it makes them se-
seventh and eighth grades were
ductive. It’s ironic that parents
two of the most difficult years of
will
lecture their children about
my life.
not conforming to the crowd
But do you know what I did
and then those same parents
when my first child was old
will blithely fall in line with the
enough to enroll in school? I
current parenting trends un-
carted him off to public school,
questioningly.
as my parents had done with
Over the years I learned it was
me. Because that’s all I knew to
ok, and even healthy, to push
do. None of my friends had their
back on conventional wisdom if
children in Christian schools.
it was ineffective for one of my
After all, we wanted our children
children. For example, conven-
to attend university eventually.
"At the end of the day,
tional wisdom declared it was
Homeschooling was completely
the key is not what
unhealthy for children to quit
out of the question!
everyone else is doing,
what they started. That sounded
Fast-forward several years.
but what works best
reasonable. After all, who wants
My second son was experienc-
for my child."
to raise a quitter? However, I
ing bullying in seventh grade.
discovered
that
there
were
situations
when it was foolhardy
I determined to do something about it and scheduled an
to force my children to persevere with activities that were
appointment to speak with the principal. When I explained
quenching their spirit. Common wisdom suggested that to
my concerns, she readily acknowledged the problem. She
raise good, Christian children, parents needed to surround
informed me that the police had been tracking those
them with ample rules and curfews so they would not go
particular bullies since the fourth grade. When I asked
astray. I learned that a household filled with rules was
what she intended to do, she teared up and confessed
usually short on character. I was also informed that children
that she, too, had suffered horribly during that
needed to hear regular doses of “no,” so they do not grow
same grade. I kid you not.
up to be spoiled. However, I learned that the world regu-
It dawned on me for the first time that I
larly stifles children’s dreams and passion. I concluded that
had more parental options at my disposal
46