The next step is to consider if you have
enough people in your life who share
your passions, values, and interests. Can
you count on people to enjoy doing what
you like to do, and vice versa, so that
you can stay socially engaged and have
fun? This is not an idle question. Too
many nice girls work hard and don’t
know how to play. They turn food into
fun instead of pursuing more satisfying
activities. You need at least a handful
of people who have similar interests or
who are easygoing and happy to join you
in your plans. They may not be a disco
diva like you, but they’ll tag along to a
dance club. Or even though they’re not
wild about hiking, they’ll join you
because they can’t pass up a chance to
have an adventure in the sun with you.
Okay, that’s the general approach to
evaluating friendships. Now listen up for
strategy number two: Consider each of
your friends individually - Go through
them one by one and decide if you value
the friendship, including why or why
not. I know, right about now you’re
dreaming about how scrumptious a
chocolate chip cookie would taste, but
bear with me. I didn’t say analyzing
friendships would be a piece of cake. So
tick off all the people on your list and
decide if they’re worthy of you and
whether you love having them in your
life.
There a few things I would say to look
out for when deciding if a friendship is
worth carrying on with or just letting to
of. Ask yourself the following:
- is your friend constantly swinging the
conversation back towards themselves
and has no interest in what you have
to say?
- Does your friend simply use you to
vent their anger and frustration about
their own lives?
- Has your friends's life become such a
dramatic ‘soap opera’ that anytime
you
spend with them, you know it’s
going
to be emotionally draining and
offer
you very little fun?
- Is your friend constantly either
putting you down and/or criticizing
you in front of other people or in
private?
- Is your friend solely driven to
compete with you?
- Has your friend betrayed your trust?
If you can relate to one or more of the
above, it might be time to throw deuces
up. Remember, friendships are there to
enhance your life and bring true value
and meaning to it, allowing you to gain
16