VICIOUS RUMOURS
That Captain Knight has asked his wife
for a Round Table for Christmas have
been grossly exaggerated.
So after more shouting of numbers than
an American ‘Football Match’ we finally
boarded the Twin tub. Less than three
minutes later my next recollection was
being face down on some tarmac,
bleeding profusely in amongst the
wreckage of a Chinook. This was for me
a bigger surprise than Pan Ams last
unscheduled flight to Lockerbie. Not
sure what happened next, I awoke at HQ
...but sadly no pretty nurses or blow jobs
awaited.
So that was pretty much my mission. We
flew around a bit collecting dead
bodies… (from our own side) Padre
Gaynor would certainly have his work
cut out today. Religious thoughts gave
me a flashback to the helicopter ride out
before we all face planted in chopper
wreckage that Maltby had farted in the
back reminding me further of
Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”.
The only other noteworthy incident of
the day was guarding a pile of bleeding
squaddies waiting for a Casevac when a
Pte. Atkins tried to shamelessly draw
attention to himself by standi ng on a
landmine. Now Genital-less, legless and
trailing some big trail of Walls porkies
behind him I caught the CMT saying to
him “Remember what your Mother
said… don’t come running to me if you
hurt yourself with them nasty Army
boys”.
An officer called Henderson pointed out
that despite being the Battle Casualty
Replacements and far back from the
front line, Atkin’s persistent groaning
and inability to walk was a harsh
reminder of what it was like to ‘get it in
the rear’.
Let’s hope that my next deployment will
be more exciting than a helicopter crash,
lots of drugs and being forced to keep
the flies of generated by inconsiderate
mine victims.
CONFESSION BOOTH
Avoid overseas posting boredom. Join
Padre Gaynor’s regular discussion group:
Exploring Uranus and the role of God in
the Cosmos.
SPORTS NEWS
Arsene Wenger has turned down the
offer to coach 6th AB away team. The
two recent crushing defeats do beg
questions about team management
going forward into the rest of the
season. Today’s third crushing victory by
the less well funded Lingorian side has
added
to
speculation.
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