“A thoroughly absorbent read.”
EDITORIAL
With the help of a printing press and
paper thicker than the standard issue
Mk. I Bog Roll, we are proud to
announce the release of the first edition
of The Rag: the only newspaper for the
soldiers, by the soldiers. We here at The
Rag headquarters hope you enjoy the
read, and if you don’t like the read,
you’ll love the wipe. There has been
some delay in the publication of the first
official edition due primarily to a lack of
time on our hands, caused in-part by the
so-called training exercises of Operation
Spartan. Someone should tell the
Ruperts, I’m not sure they know we’re
supposed to be training. The intention of
the Rag is not only to provide comfort
for your bum after a long day of sitting
on it and a Main Meal Ration Pack No.
10, but also to inform the reader, and
hopefully to inspire a few laughs.
Editors of the Rag Newspaper
UPDATE ON REACTION
TO CONTACT
2SEC orders would like to make all ranks
aware of a new operational order
developed especially for the Lingor
situation. On disembarking from a
helicopter or other vehicle, scamper
around like Peter Rabbit eventually
settling into a comfortable position in a
pasture. Don’t look out, look around and
back at your leaders as they are sure to
be discussing ‘what to do next’ for some
time yet. Enjoy the flora and fauna all is
well. Maybe take a short nap. Snipers?
What snipers? It’s just a vicious rumour
that non Anglo-Saxons can shoot a
firearm straight unless drugs or money
are being exchanged.
LOCAL CULTURE TIP OF
THE WEEK
In houses of ‘ill-repute’ when the
manager shouts “everyone clap” he is
not eliciting applause for the dancers.
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