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Surviving Breast Cancer: in Balance
If you had told me when I first started paying the Medicare Payroll Tax in my twenties that one benefit was I could get free lingerie when I was 65, I would have laughed myself silly. Yet fourteen months after my breast cancer surgery, I walked out of the Cancer Center Boutique with a gift— three post-surgical bras and a silicone prosthesis.
I needed a prosthesis, my oncologist said,“ To make you even. When we get dressed up, we women like to look even.” Apparently, the federal government is also invested in breast cancer survivors being even. They don’ t like to see us leaning too far to the right or the left, I suppose. 1 out of 8 women in the U. S. has had, or will have breast cancer. This means that if all survivors leaned the same way, it would completely mess up the whole checks and balances thing our democracy is founded on. Instead of having red states and blue states, the whole map would be pink.
I came into the boutique feeling rather sheepish. First, the whole idea of getting bras from my uncle— even though it was Uncle Sam— seemed rather sleazy. Second, I didn’ t know what kind of bra Medicare would cover, because I knew from looking online that quality post-surgical bras and prostheses are expensive. Third, the way the boutique is set up makes it look like an upscale designer lingerie and hat shop.
I was immediately put at ease by Lynore, the certified specialist who fitted me. She explained the various features of the bras they carry in the shop, and they were the same quality as the ones I’ d seen on line. Lynore didn’ t just discuss fit and fashion, she also discussed the care and cleaning of the prosthesis.“ Do you have any pets, other than a goldfish?” she asked. I thought it an odd question, but came to understand that from Lynore’ s experience, a goldfish is about the only pet that’ s safe for a woman with a breast prosthesis.
Part of caring for your prosthesis involves keeping it away from your dog— he will mistake it for a chew toy. Cats may jump on it and knead until it’ s flat as a pillow that has lost its
BY MARY ELIZABETH LANG
stuffing. If you have pet mice be careful, they like to gnaw around the edges. If this happens, you will no longer look even. You will look like part of your government handout has been gnawed away by Congressional budget cuts.“ If any pet damage occurs,” Lynore said,“ you will have to replace your prosthesis at your own expense, because Medicare will only pay for one every two years.” I was still getting used to the idea that the government wanted to give me a free prosthesis, so I didn’ t need convincing that they didn’ t want to pay for pet chew toys.
Also, Lynore warned, Medicare will not pay for a replacement if I fail to keep the prosthesis clean and it deteriorates. She told me to wash the prosthesis daily in mild soap and water and let it air dry on a flat surface. My mind raced about my home looking for any place I could put it while it dried.
On the bathroom vanity? No, my two cats can jump up there easily. On the clothesline outside? No, the squirrels might find it and mistake it for winter nesting material. I finally settled on a towel on top of my bookshelves.
After giving me my final instructions, Lynore tied my shopping bag handles together with a pink bow and wished me luck. As I walked through the door of the cancer center wearing my new prosthesis, I realized I was feeling much more balanced, poised and confident. I was, as my oncologist said I would be, happy to be“ even” once again. I began to understand why Medicare benefits cover post-surgical bras and prostheses. These items are every bit a part of the healing from breast cancer. A prosthesis is thousands of dollars cheaper than reconstructive surgery, also an option under Medicare. Contemplating this, I felt downright patriotic. I had saved Uncle Sam money! Maybe the next post-surgical bra I get should be red, white, and blue.
MARY ELIZABETH LANG is a retired English instructor, a freelance writer and poet, and a cancer survivor.
Summer 2013 THE PINK PAPER
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