The Pink Paper Fall 2013 | Page 13

Discovering share STRENGTH “Life is very interesting…in the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths.” ~ Drew Barrymore W hen I got my breast cancer diagnosis last year, I was not only in shock, I also went into denial. I chose not to deal with it. I was afraid to even talk about it. I took my daughters on an impromptu trip to Disney to try and escape even thinking about it. The thoughts crossing my mind were, “Wait, I’m too young, and my kids are too young.” I quickly realized none of this mattered. The cancer did not care. It began with my first mammogram visit at the age of 37. It was a choice my sister and I made together after our mom recovered from her second battle with ‘the monster’ (the name I choose to call breast cancer). We still talk about the fact that it took us going through cancer twice with my Mom for us to decide to get mammograms. My mother’s struggle and our family’s pain had motivated my sister and I to take prudent action and make the doctor’s appointment. My fear after receiving my diagnosis was overwhelming. When faced with what to do, I knew what I personally had to do—as a mother, my survival instincts kicked in. Through love, I found courage. I couldn’t bring myself to say, “Bilateral mastectomy” or to Google it, but I could tell my doctor it was the option I chose. I have small kids, and I don’t want to ever be in this position again. Even though I was scared, I felt confident in my decision. My mother’s breast cancer had come back once, so I knew it was a possibility for mine to as well. I chose to be strong, walk in faith and win! Because of my mom’s history and the statistical information that was thrown at me I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. Throughout this process I learned I have some of the most amazing friends. They were there for me every step of my journey and in so many ways. My friends were a constant, dependable source of encouragement and kindness. All I had to do was heal. They allowed me to face my recovery with courage and grace—and they helped me to show my daughters that their mom possesses grace and courage when faced with tough times. My friends truly cared. They showed me honest love. They made defeating ‘the monster’ so much easier. This experience strengthened my friendships, and my friendships gave me strength. Throughout this process, I am learning I h ave more strength and blessings than I knew or thought possible. This is the gift my journey has given me. I have learned to be more patient and trust God. I have embraced the appreciation of little things I before often overlooked. I have also softened and become more sensitive. I have connected to so many wonderful people who have their own remarkable stories of their journeys. I realize everyone’s journey is different, but that helpless feeling upon the initial diagnosis is the same. I chose to find purpose in my journey. In April, on my 38th birthday, I celebrated by launching a blog about my journey. Its purpose is to serve as a vehicle of healing, inspiration, encouragement and sisterhood. The outpour of responses have been unbelievable. You never know how words may affect someone’s life. BY As an author, TRACY it’s helped NICOLE me to find another level of depth and meaning in my craft. Today I understand that I have the right, the power and the ability to choose to continue moving forward by using my journey as a source of motivation for not only myself, but for others as well. My journey has provided me strength. Tracy Nicole is an author, mother, entrepreneur, activist and a breast cancer survivor. Her blog is: www. beneaththepetals.blogspot.com As an entrepreneur, Tracy has been highlighted in various local and national publications including Essence, Lucky Magazine, Paper City, Jezebel and Atlanta Style. Fall 2013 THE PINK PAPER 11