OVERHEARD @ AGC
Defence counsel on why his client breached his probation order by staying out past 10 p.m.:
"Oh, i have an explanation for that. You see, he is intending to marry this girl. So, this was the first dinner with his in-laws."
*Makes hopeful, puppy-dog look to the video PTC camera in chambers, then sees both the prosecutor’s and the judge’s unimpressed faces*
“Oh well, I guess it’s not a great explanation…”
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Office Communicator is an unmined trove of Overheard gems. Here’s one example.
[Officer 1 to Officer 2]:
sorry to disappoint
but i have invited [Officer 3] for lunch
i know you must have been looking forward to collected, intelligent conversation
i'm afraid you must moderate your expectations a bit in light of the change in plans
meanwhile, Officer 1’s conversation with Officer 3:
[Officer 3] (AGC)
zzzzzz
hahaa
kkkkkkkk
[Officer 1] (AGC)
we are going to china sq
for korean food
[Officer 3] (AGC)
oooh
cool
ogayzzz
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Overheard at breakfast, courtesy of abovementioned Officer 3: “How do you spell F?”
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CNB Team leader to an errant investigation officer: “Please pull up your socks to the highest possible level.”
In open court, between the learned judge and a prosecutor who clearly never learned that, in Singapore, the letter W is pronounced “dahbjoo”.
Prosecutor: The accused is Yew –
District Judge (“DJ”): How do you spell that?
Prosecutor: Y – E – W.
DJ: Ah okay. Y – E – U – U.
Prosecutor: No, your Honour. Double U.
DJ: Yes, okay, Y – E – U – U.
Prosecutor: No Your Honour, not two Us. Double U.
DJ: Ah, okay okay.
Prosecutor: Phew.
DJ: What an unusual name eh, Yeuu. Haw haw.
Prosecutor: No Your Honour, double U. As in, W, X, Y…
Defence Counsel: W for Washington.
(Pause.)
DJ: OH. Ahh. That’s right. Er, heh heh.
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You know you’ve been in the legal service far too long when this makes sense to you (entirely fictional):
“Dear PA CP CJD
I routed an IM (re: advice to MinLaw) to CP CJD via ELMS this a.m. not realising he’s on VL. Pls re-route to CP EGD ASAP & cc DG, CLC and CC for their input. SG and AG have requested a week’s turnaround.
FYNA pls.”