The Perfect Gentleman Issue 9 - Christmas | Page 24

The Gift of Time

“Remember that time slurs over everything, let all deeds fade, blurs all writings and
kills all memories. Exempt are only those which dig into the hearts of men by love”.
~ARISTOTLE, letter to Alexander on the policy toward the Cities
When I am getting to know someone, I tend to
avoid benchmark questions about their age, job
and family status as much as possible. Most
people would think that these are basic
necessities of getting to know a person. In my
mind, these give out a false sense of familiarity
and reveal more of your own interests and
presumption, rather than allow you to actually
learn about the individual. More often than not,
a person will happily volunteer such
information within the conversation by
mentioning his significant other, kids or work. I
choose to allow the person to tell me as much as
they feel comfortable with as I have learned that
you can find out much more about a person
while discussing unrelated subjects then
through “What do you do for a living?” Instead I
would ask questions like “Are you allergic to any
food?” “Do you cook?” with a follow up of “Do
you have a crown dish”, “What do you read?”
and “Do you have a hobby?”

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The last one usually leads to a short pause
during which my interlocutor submerges
him/herself into a momentary self-deliberation.
In time, I have discovered that most people are
more than keen to tell me all about their
occupation, while broadcasting a sheepish look
on their face when I ask about what actually
occupies their ‘fee’ time? According to the
Oxford Dictionary ‘Hobby’ is “An activity done
regularly in one’s leisure time for pleasure.”
What a wonderful thing to have! For me it
means time to create, to broaden one’s
knowledge, to master a new skill and to give
time to the people I love. Hobbies can include
collecting themed items and objects, engaging
in creative and artistic pursuits, playing sports,
or pursuing other amusements.

By Alexandra E Kazes

CHRISTMAS GENTLEMAN