The Pearls of Catharsis Times Issue 01, Oct 2016 | Page 12

“ Have I done anything to offend you?” He asks almost innocently“ really? yes, you persistently bump into me and expect me to apologise and its very, exasperating to say the least”. He apologises and tells me how he is embarrassed to have caused me any inconvenience and that he just thought I’ d respond well to that kind of thing. As I gather from his all too long explanation the problem was that he has read a great deal of these cliché romance novels and it seemed pestering and stalking someone you like was the romantic thing to do to get their attention. He thought I would respond well because he’ d seen me with a novel more than a few times and assumed they were romance novels and that we were alike. Well, I laid i as gently as I could how he couldn’ t have been more wrong about me and that I was not interested in him in that way:“ so you think I’ m very handsome but not sexually attractive?” he asked as he tried to comprehend what I was saying. I agreed with that and I think he understood even though he still seemed puzzled, I am confident I will not be shoved out of the way anytime soon again. Now where was I before I was rudely interrupted, ah yes be a phoenix and let the love consume me so that I may rise from the ashes into a beautiful loveable creature. I’ m looking for someone at least my height or taller so that I may be able to shield myself from the strong winds. They should have strong bones and thick skin so that I may be able to snuggle in to them when it’ s too cold outside. Lastly they should be generous so that I may eat as much as I want without feeling any guilt. How would a guy with a potential to possess all those qualities dress? A t-shirt, shorts and flip flops – why not? He has that thick skin to protect him from the wind why bother with wool jerseys and boots? I suppose according to the more is better principle he should at least wear a skipper jersey. It’ s 4:30pm I’ m walking to my apartment not very far from campus. Although it looks like it’ s already 5:30pm, the sun sets early at this time of the year and it’ s a bit chilly and dusty and I am thinking of my dinner.