Volume 13, Issue 02
The PEACEKEEPER
Page 16
From the JAG
LAWSUIT continued from pg. 15
Jesse Dimmick Sues Couple He Kidnapped
Kidnappers don't get no respect. Jesse Dimmick, a fugi ve murder suspect, kidnapped a young couple and
claimed he entered into a verbal contract with them. The terms were that they would hide him from the law in re‐
turn for an unspecified about of money. Unsurprisingly, the couple turned him in and in the resul ng arrest Dimmick
was shot in the back. The couple sued Dimmick for $75,000 for trespassing, intrusion, and emo onal distress. Dim‐
mick countersued for $235,000, claiming the couple violated their contract with him. The couple's lawyer noted in
his response to the counterclaim that a contract couldn't be entered into, because hiding a fugi ve is illegal. The
judge agreed; the counterclaim was dismissed.
Woman Loses 80 Cents, Sues for $5 Million
A woman walks into a store, purchases some items and uses
an in‐store coupon. When she returns one of those items, she is out‐
raged to discover that the refund is the value of the item, minus
what was saved with the coupon. In this case, 80 cents. She claimed
that the "scheme" "unjustly enriched" the store and deprived her of
the "full benefit" of the coupon. So, in order to recoup her $.80, she
sues for $5 million. If you ever needed evidence that Americans are
terrible at math, this is it.
Kids Sue Mom for Not Loving Them Enough
Siblings Stephen and Kathryn Miner sued their mother over shocking allega ons: not sending care packages
to Stephen, refusing to buy Kathryn a homecoming dress, and threatening to take a young Stephen to the police sta‐
on if he didn't buckle up in the car. The judge dismissed the case put forward by the twenty‐something children,
saying that the nature of their mother's ac ons did not fall outside the bounds of "common decency."
Man Sues God
Many of us feel that God has dealt us a bad hand. But suing the
Holy of Holies? In 2007, Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers filed a
lawsuit ordering God to cease "harmful ac vi es and the making of ter‐
roris c threats." But just in case you think he's crazy, he clarified his in‐
ten ons by sta ng that he's not actually suing God, he just wanted to
fight possible laws restric ng the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Yes, you
read that right.
See LAWSUIT continued on pg. 17