Volume 13, Issue 02
The PEACEKEEPER
Page 15
From the JAG
LAWSUIT continued from pg. 14
Woman Sues Dead Man
In 2008, Gayane Zokhrabov was standing on a train pla orm when she was struck by por ons of an unfortu‐
nate young man who had just been hit by an oncoming train. When she tried to sue the accident vic m, the judge
dismissed the case saying the man couldn't have known where his body was going to strike. Uh, because he was
dead.
Chinese Man Sues Wife For Being Ugly
When most people have ugly babies, they hope the kid will grow
out of it and move on. But when Chinese man Jian Feng had an ugly ba‐
by, he demanded answers from his beau ful wife. She broke down and
admi ed that she had undergone extensive plas c surgery before she
met Feng. Feeling betrayed, Feng divorced his wife and then successful‐
ly sued her for $120,000 in damages for marrying him under false pre‐
tenses.
Judge Sues Dry Cleaners For $67 Million
In 2007, Judge Roy Pearson, sick and red of bad service, decided to make an example of his local drycleaner
by suing them for $67 million over a lost pair of pants. Because he's a reasonable guy, he later dropped the suit to
$54 million. Pearson became emo onal on the witness stand as he cross‐examined himself about the emo onal toll
that losing a pair of pants has taken on him. If Pearson had such an emo onal rela onship with his pants, he should
have been overjoyed when the beleaguered drycleaner returned the pants in the courtroom. Despite a matching
claim cket, Judge Pearson is adamant they aren't his.
Old Guy Sues Young People Contest
In a case of irony so thick it should be an Alanis Mor‐
rise e song, a man sued the Young Concert Ar st compe on
for age discrimina on. Mar n Stoner, 60, was a violinist with the
New York City Ballet orchestra. He lost his job, then tried to com‐
pete for the Young Concert Ar sts prize, valued at $75,000. Since
Stoner was 60 and had been playing for the ballet for 25 years,
he wasn't allowed to compete. So, he did what any American
would do, he filed an injunc on to stop the contest. A er his
case was thrown out due to filing errors, he refiled and got the
same judge. He then complained that the 88‐year‐old judge had
too many "mental and physical limita ons" and was "too old" to fairly try Stoner's case. (The judge allowed the con‐
test to proceed without the plain ff.)
See LAWSUIT continued on pg. 16