Volume 12, Issue 08
Page 5
The PEACEKEEPER
From the JAG’s Desk
CMDR
Jeffrey
Triz
Ship’s
JAG
How Do Court Reporters
Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published
by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges
were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the ?rst thing your husband said
to you that morning?
WITNESS:
He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:
My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
WITNESS:
Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually ac ve?
WITNESS:
No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS:
July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS:
Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with
ou?
WITNESS:
Thirty?eight or thirty??ve, I can't
remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS:
Forty??ve years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it a?ect your
memory at all?
WITNESS:
Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it a?ect your
memory?
WITNESS:
I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a
person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know
about it un l the next morning?
WITNESS:
Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20?year?old, how
old is he?
WITNESS:
He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was
taken?
WITNESS:
Are you shi ng me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of concep on (of the baby)
was August 8th?
WITNESS:
Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that me?
WITNESS:
Ge ng laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS:
Yes.
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