The Onymous September-October 2013, issue 6 | Page 4

4- September-October 2013 Jokes A snail was mugged by a tortoise. The police asked the snail, ?Can you give us a description of your attacker? “No, it all happened so fast!? A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate. ?No,? the doctor said. ?I did not check his pulse.? ?And did you listen for a heartbeat?? asked the lawyer. ?I did not,? the doctor said. ?So,? said the lawyer, ?when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead.? The doctor said, ?Well, let me put it this way. The man?s brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere.? Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a human to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day. A man lying on his deathbed called his three closest, most trusted friends: a lawyer, a pastor, and a doctor. ?Someday soon I will die, and when I go to heaven I want to take everything ?]YK???H[HX]?[?? L ?\??[?XX??\?H?YH[??[?\??[?HYH[?H]\???YH?^H?[?\?[[?]H[?^H[?^H???[??]YK???HX[?[?YH?YHY[?Y[?X?[[??[?\??]?\?[^\?]\?H?X[?YY ???XX??]?^H]\????\??[?\?[[??[?[\?X]?\? ??[?[???\?H???[?]H?[?\?[H\?????\??Y 2??H?[??]YH?]r?]?H?K?H??? L ?\?????HH[??[?H?X?]\?HH?\???YYY??HZ[?Y ?????Y?????