Suicide Note
Rincón creativo | Short Stories
Suicide Note
Damien Knight
Wednesday 2 AM , and I am awake , waiting for time to mend this part of me which keeps broken since you left me . I have washed the dishes on the sink ; I ' ve thrown the litter away . My home is clean , but my soul is not .
Police came today , and all the memories also came back with them , the day when I lost you , when I lost the bright of your eyes , the kindness of your smile , the freedom of your spirit ...
All your clothes are still hanged in the wardrobe ; your toothbrush is in the bathroom , waiting for you ; your perfume reminds in the air . It ' s like you have never gone , but you did , and it hurts . My pillow still remember your golden hair ; your sweet smell has mixed with my tears , making something unique , like that that you and me used to have , but it is over now , and it hurts . My body still remembers the warmth that you used to give me . Your big arms were my shelter ; your chest , my nest . Now , I ' m homeless .
I ' ve said aloud so many times that it was not my fault ; I ' ve even screamed it in the night , but I can ' t convince myself of it . It was my fault , and there is nothing that I can do to change it . I couldn ' t call up the heaven ; I couldn ' t crawl down through hell ; I couldn ' t bring you back ; you are death , and I was guilty . I know that , and it hurts .
Everybody says that I ' m not the same boy that you left behind ; that I have to move on , being stronger and trying to be happy , but I can ' t . I ' m not strong enough to overcome . I have nothing and I need you . Now , I only have the cold and painful kiss of the razor on my wrists and the death singing a lullaby on my ear , the last one that I ' ll hear .