After a cramped ride in the zookeeper’ s minivan, Arnold, thankful for the extra legroom and third row seating, entered the gates of his new home. A home he would share with 117 other animals for the next 15 years( about an hour before Arnold’ s arrival that total was 120, but a few of the Golden Tamarins [ a snack sized monkey ] wandered into the Tiger cage right before lunch).
15 years and thousands of pounds of peanuts later 4, Arnold would look back on those early days at the zoo fondly. Now, approaching retirement, he looked forward to reading more, going for long walks, and perhaps writing that book he’ d always thought about. The lack of opposable thumbs( or fingers of any kind really) would probably require the hiring of a ghostwriter, but with his pension and savings that shouldn’ t prove too difficult.
1. The kids’ party scene can be incredibly demeaning. But at Arnold’ s last party, after a particularly hyper, kick-friendly, birthday boy climbed off of him, Arnold left a huge parting gift on the cake to show his appreciation.
2. Fun fact, the Ring Master of this circus was named Morton Gibbons( Mortz, to friends and creditors). He was a third generation Ring Master who was moonlighting as a semi-professional unicyclist at another circus across town.
3. It wasn’ t that the zookeeper didn’ t have the cash to acquire Arnold. It was the lifetime supply of whipped cream and clown pants that would eventually prove too expensive. To settle his debt he had to spend weekends hand feeding the clowns lunch( it’ s just too difficult to eat a sandwich with those giant gloves on.)
4. Arnold wanted it clear that the peanuts in no way contributed to his weight. He works out frequently. According to‘ doctors’ his weight is a‘ glandular’ issue that makes everything he eats go right to his hips.
Doug Skinner
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