The Next Page June 2013 | Page 34

Local Elephant Celebrates Retirement !
Arnold Elephantus was not your typical elephant . I mean he was typical in the sense that he had large ears and a trunk , but he also had a lot of friends and an amazing grasp of physics ( though he couldn ’ t speak to prove that ). Most importantly , for the last 15 years he was a headliner at a city zoo .
He wasn ’ t just handed the zoo gig on a silver spoon . Arnold climbed the ladder like any other self-respecting 2000-pound animal . He had made the
rounds on the kids ’ party scene 1 , quickly being promoted to the circus where , after just a few weeks , he caught the eye of a slightly crossed-eyed zookeeper who just had to have him for the African savannah pen at the Wallywompatt City Zoo .
One night , after Arnold ’ s act ( consisting mostly of standing on his hind legs and throwing a few gymnasts around ), the zookeeper snuck back stage to discuss acquiring the pachyderm for the zoo . He had expected to negotiate
with the Ring Master 2 in charge of the circus , but it seems when it comes to money and negotiations , all things go through the clowns .
Silly people those clowns , but shrewd negotiators . After an intense session , a deal was struck and Arnold was free to go with the zookeeper . It cost the zookeeper a great deal more than he expected 3 , but the clowns seemed so sad to see the elephant go that he couldn ’ t turn down their offer … It may have just been the face paint , but , either way , no one likes a sad clown .

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