On Accepting Love by Tim Wanner, Cincinnati Province Companion
Tim Wanner made his first covenant in October 2016 while serving time in prison. This is a reflection that he wrote sharing the experience of making covenant with the community.
My journey to becoming a Precious Blood Companion has been great. It has been difficult and stressful at times, but it has been and continues to be a very positive experience.
I knew about and was introduced to the Society by my Dad, who is an Amicus. He introduced me to Pat Large, who was my sponsor and continues to be a good friend and mentor.
I wrote to Pat a letter of introduction and expressed interest in the Companions Movement. At the time she was the convener of the Carthagena, Ohio group. After consulting with the group and the group’ s sponsor, I was invited to begin deliberations.
From the very onset, the community was extremely kind and welcoming to me. A few people from the group immediately began writing me. Also, a couple of c. pp. s. members took an interest in me. Pat and her husband Jim began visiting me in person almost immediately.
So, going from not having almost any outside friends or moral support to being instantly loved and embraced by strangers really touched me very deeply.
Deliberations and formation was an excellent time for me to grow spiritually. The format was great. There were chapters filled with information either on spirituality or the history and current structure of the Society. The great thing is that the reflection questions weren’ t“ yes” or“ no.” They were“ How do you feel?” and“ What do you think?” To answer these questions, I really had to ponder the material— meditate on it. And I think that the process helped the material to take root in me. The group was always very positive in the acceptance of my reflections. They respected my subjective experience and positively encouraged me.
That acceptance and respect is and was a lesson to me, which has helped me to continue to grow spiritually.
As time has gone by I have made a few good Precious Blood friends, both Companions and members. My friends have helped me on my journey as well. They have been extremely supportive. They have accepted me as I am. With my many faults, they don’ t judge. They love.
I must put the support and love of the community into context. Two years ago, there was only one person on the planet who cared about me. My entire family had disowned me except my Dad. I had no outside friends and you never know if you can trust your“ inside of prison” friends. Then after introduction to the community I had and have many friends. Some who actually love me. Love me like family.
Just writing this gets my eyes misty. The instant love and acceptance is unequaled. I feel that God has blessed me abundantly.
This support was something that, in a way, was very stressful to me. I was afraid that I would lose it. That I would, that I could, do something to lose this loving acceptance. It hasn’ t been until recently that I have accepted that these people, you people, have accepted me. As I am. With my faults. And that it is one of the marks of Precious Blood spirituality— to accept and love people unconditionally and not based on performance. There aren’ t words to describe the grace that has been bestowed upon me through the Companions and members of the c. pp. s.
As many know, I made my first covenant in October 2016. The Provincial himself, a very kind and caring man, sat across a prison waiting room table from me, accepted my covenant, prayed with me and gave me his blessing. This man, Fr. Larry Hemmelgarn, who has business and appointments all over the world, took time out of his busy schedule to love me in person. Praise and Thanksgiving be evermore to Jesus! What else can be said?
Then on top of all this I began receiving cards, letters, and well wishes from Precious Blood people all
10 • The New Wine Press • February 2017