The New Wine Press vol 25 no 4 December 2016 | Page 11

at the same time. The deal was made, and in four years
I was a Licensed Professional Counselor.

problems improved drastically and he had less need
for medication.

It is very difficult to overestimate the effect that
doing counseling has had on me, especially regarding
my view of myself and my view of human beings in
general. I have been privileged to hear many peoples’
stories, and I feel honored that so many people have
entrusted these precious narratives to me. I have been
given much more through this ministry than I will
ever be able to give back. Especially valuable to me is
the understanding and insight I have gained in working with people, which enables me to be more compassionate with others and with myself.

Like John, we are all trying to “matter.” Knowing
this as a counselor means that I don’t have to “start
from scratch” with each person who comes to me for
counseling since I know the details of their life will fit
into the human story somehow. It also enables me to
be much less judgmental about people, including myself, since we are all in the same boat, trying to get the
same things. With more understanding and less judgment, I am also able to be more compassionate, which
is one of those basic things everyone is looking for.

As I have listened to many peoples’ stories over the
years, I have come to realize that we all have the same
story—the human story. The details and particularities
are different with each person, but there is a common
theme running through each person’s life story. That
is because we are much more alike than different. At
the most basic level, we all want to be loved and to
love, we want to know we are worthwhile, we want to
feel safe and secure, and we want our lives to “count.”
Everyone’s story, from the gang member to the Sunday
morning preacher, is about their efforts to find these
things.

Counseling is not about “fixing” someone who is
broken or screwed up, even if that is what the counseling client asks for. It is simply about assuring the
person of what already is, that he/she is important and
does “count.” It is also about helping people find other
ways to understand that about themselves. If I can
help people to that goal, then they don’t have to waste
their time and energy (sometimes in harmful ways)
trying to prove they “matter.” They can then be content
and at peace in offering their unique talents and gifts
to those around them.

An example: “John” and “Mary” came to counseling
because their fights and disagreements had increased
in frequency and intensity. Mary said that John was
always working, and had little time or energy for her.
John said that Mary was always criticizing him, and
that she didn’t appreciate the sacrifices he made for his
family, especially since they were putting two children
through college. John said he was on various medications to control high blood pressure, to calm intestinal problems, and to help him sleep. His doctor had
told him that stress was aggravating all his physical
problems.

Leadership, continued from page 4

In counseling John came to realize that he believed
he was worthwhile (“counted”) only if he was very financially successful and could provide all the material
comforts his family wanted. John said he had learned
this from his father, a very successful businessman.
So to this end, John was (unconsciously) willing to
sacrifice his time, his health, and even his relationships
with his wife and children.
In time, with his family’s help, John was able to
come to know that he was worthwhile regardless of
how much money he brought home. He reduced his
work hours and spent more time at home, which
resulted in less criticism from Mary and a much better
marital relationship. With less stress, John’s physical

At the core of my counseling work, as well as my
spirituality, lies the truth that we are all made in the
image and likeness of God. It is in coming to a greater
realization and acceptance of that truth that each of us
finds what we are looking for. W

Labyrinth on the grounds of Precious Blood Renewal
Center on August 16th. Around the same time, we
received an unexpected donation that almost paid for
the project.
This is what incarnational spirituality looks like. Now
is the time for us to be committed to life. Is it possible?
Do we desire it? Is this vision something that advances
who we are as people of faith, Precious Blood people,
ambassadors for Christ, messengers of God’s mercy and
ministers of reconciliation? Does this vision further
the reign of God? My answers to these questions is yes,
because I believe we are people of faith that know a new
creation is possible.
And so, as we celebrate the incarnation of Jesus, I
make no apologies for believing that all of this is possible. My most fervent prayer as we approach Christmas
and begin the new year is that all of us have a passion
for possibility. W
December 2016 • The New Wine Press • 9