The Mistery of Belicena Villca had fear of fighting and reacting , of facing too powerful forces . Oh , God ! They had turned me into a useful idiot , a stupid pacifist !
But now things would change : if I had to destroy , I would destroy !; if I had to kill , I would kill !; I would do anything before trading with the Enemy of the Spirit , described by Belicena Villca . I just needed help , some kind of spiritual help . In short , I was determined to go all the way , to play , as I said , all my strengths for the Cause of the House of Tharsis , but I was also realistic , aware of my limitations , and knew that without help I could not get anywhere . But to whom could I turn for such help ? Not that I could decide for the moment , but that is what I would occupy myself thinking about in the following hours .
I kept the car in the garage of the Tower where I had been living in for a few years and climbed a detestable reinforced concrete spiral staircase to the landing of the elevators . A few minutes later , I was comfortably tucked into my pajamas , ready to meditate on what worried me .
" Three rooms is too big for a single man " my parents repeated to exhaustion when I bought it , but now the flat did not look like it , due to the disorderly accumulation of archaeological objects , various publications and books . Actually for the books I allocated a small room that I provided with shelves on all four walls ; but soon the capacity of this library was full and the new books were gaining the other environments as undesirable guests .
The only place more or less arranged with certain order , was the spacious hall which had a set of armchairs , a coffee table and a reading lamp . Next to my favorite armchair , the window revealed the side of a small hill at the foot of which , imposing and majestic , stands the equestrian statue of General Martín Miguel de Güemes . There I sat , seized with a very special feeling , as will be seen in the course of the story , and I stayed several hours ; until the phenomena occurred .
But let ' s not get ahead of ourselves ; it was twelve o ' clock at night and I , picking up the thread from previous thoughts , was obsessively wondering : I must ask for help , but from whom ?
As always happens when man is faced with situations that over-pass him and calls for external aid , it is unfailingly raised a moral problem ; it is the ancient confrontation between good and evil . In these cases the fundamental principle that should prevail in the judgment on " friendship " or " enmity " of the Powers to which we address ourselves is discernment . When the " law " is precise , in events that must be dealt with legally for example , discernment is automatic , we would say rational . In the complex legislative plot , thousands of qualitatively and hierarchically intertwined laws regulate man ' s behavior in civilized society . There are standard legal " forms " that allow to guide the judgment and determine with precision if what a man does is good or bad : he is good if he does not produce contradictions legally demonstrable , he is bad if he breaks the law .
This in regard to the conduct collectively adjusted to the " law ", of man . In the individual sphere the subject , generally ignorant of the great variety of legislations that regulate the Law , conducts itself according to its " moral conscience ". This concept refers to the fact that being a member of a human society , both by the cultural transfer of generations of ancestors as by education or simply the imitation of the neighbour , enables man in the exercise of a kind of moral conditioned reflex that acts , at last , as an intuition ( moral conscience or " voice of conscience "). But it is not about a true intuition , but about the appearance of it and what would happen would be that a stratum of moral experiences , assimilated by the mentioned means or by any other and reduced to an unconscious level , would act automatically guiding reason in the discernment of the established oppositions and determining the logic of the judgement .
It is understood that the more " automatically " this psychological mechanism is triggered , the more weakened is the will to discern . The taste or comfort for living in populated areas or cities , talks about the predominance of these unconscious processes and explains the panic fear of coping with original situations or circumstances where discernment may fail . Hence the fallacy of believing that the citizen " habitat ", cultural realm par excellence , makes man more " balanced ", when the truth is that the individual in rural areas tends to possess a more accurate moral discernment , not rational but emanated from the depths of the Spirit .
The serene judgment of men we usually take for ignorants , could come to surprise us . Without the scab of endless decadent customs crystallized in all places of the mind , these simple people experience also states of transcendent consciousness , without making too much noise and , what is good , without making " parapsychological classifications ".
For the purposes of comparing the two behaviors , suppose they have been put ( the citizen and the rural man ) to choose between God and the Devil , being the second the imitation of the first . In all likelihood , the rationalist inclination of the citizen , would incapacitate him to discern between essence and Divine appearance . Perhaps this distinction cannot be made by the simple mind of the peasant ; but , by this very simplicity or purity , he may " sense " the presence of God , have the " certainty " to distinguish between the truth and the lie .
351