October 2017– THE MOTIVATOR – Page 7
Does familiarity breed contempt?
This refers to what often happens in
long-standing Relationships over time
as the Relationship happiness begins to
wither. In Relationships, the problem is
not with familiarity, but more about
that to which we're acclimating. For
example, disrespectful, dishonoring,
and negative energy all too often
become familiar territory in
Relationships. These are the elements
that cause contempt. Perhaps we'd be
better off saying mediocrity or
unhappiness breed contempt.
At the onset of romantic
Relationships we seek to become
familiar with one another. After all,
that's the only way that we can truly
know of each other. If love and
intimacy are the goals they can only be
achieved through a more intimate
knowing of one another. The
difficulties that Relationships endure
are not derived from this intimacy, but
are caused by a turning away from
each other. When we do so, we begin to
take each other for granted. This
typically happens after we've become
comfortable enough and the conquest
of love has been achieved. This may
CHRISTINE KING –
signal the beginning of that negative
familiarity.
One solution reset in learning to
value our partners is to authentically
communicate your feelings, rather than
acting them out. Tell your partner how
you feel, rather than behaving
contentiously. "I feel," or using "I"
statements, focuses on the feelings or
beliefs of the speaker rather than
thoughts and characteristics that the
speaker attributes to the listener. For
example, a person might say to his or
her partner, “I feel abandoned and
worried when you consistently come
home late without calling” instead of
demanding, “Why are you never home
on time?”
Another way is to show
Appreciation. Appreciation is the way
that we offer our partners the value
they need. When you offer your
appreciation, it sends the clearest
message that what I see in you is good.
Appreciation is a simple gesture that
says what you do or have done is good
and I'm thankful that you are doing it.
All of us have positive and negatives.
When you are appreciated, your
partner has summed you up by the
best parts of you and this brings out
the best in you as well.--
Finally, Find change within
yourself: Often, we say we love our
partner because of who he or she is.
But at the back of our mind, we are
actually expecting that our partner will
become the person we want for us.
This will eventually come out sooner or
later, when you find yourselves getting
into a lot of misunderstandings and
hurt. Don’t try to change your partner
into someone you want him or her to
be. If you want change, start w ithin
yourself. Figure out where you need to
improve or ask your partner what he’d
like better from you. Improving how
you are in the Relationship does a lot to
improve the relationship itself.
Relationships can be hard work if
you stop doing the work to maintain
them!
Dr. Edrica D. Richardson is Licensed
Marriage and Family Therapist in multiple
states in the US; and an AAMFT
Approved Supervisor. Her clinical
specialties include relationship issues,
stress management, family conflict, and life
Dr. Edrica D. Richardson, PhD
Columnist from the Bahamas and the
United States of America
coaching, to name a few. She works with
adolescents, couples, and families in the
Bahamas and the U.S. Check her website @
www.dredrich.com
Continued from page 6
her club.
Christine community service
passion is recognized but the
community. She knows firsthand that
the safety and protection of children
are most important. When invited by
the Department of Social Services to
assist the committee with the Child
Protection Week she willingly agreed.
She set out along with Key Club
students to manage a table at the 2014
Red Cross Fair, handing out pamphlets
and speaking to adults and children
alike about child protection. Christine
was also instrumental in getting all of
the Kiwanis Clubs to partner with
Social Services, sponsoring a movie
night for children from the various
children’s homes. The movie, selected
by Social Services brought awareness
and education about child abuse. She
also arranged for Kiwanis to
participate in a community walk
through inner city communities
identified by social services to bring
more awareness to child protection.
Christine also recorded a Public Service
Announcement in an effort to promote
awareness about child abuse and
protection. She has become the Kiwanis
Community Serve resource for the
social services Department.
Christine is the go to person for
community service and if she does not
have the resources or the man power
you can rest assure she will find it.
Once again she was called upon to
assist Social Services with an event on
Valentines 2016 to show love for
children with disabilities. She did not
hesitate and immediately began
rounding up Kiwanians to assist with
food preparation, cooking and serving
hundreds of special needs children.
Communities and families are the
foundation of our country. Christine
has undertaken and remains
committed to working with local
volunteers, businesses, agencies,
churches and organizations who
believe in building stronger
communities.
Outside of her service to Kiwanis,
Christine continues to give back to her
community through her involvement
in other organizations. She has served
as President of the Bahamas Family
Planning Association Board for five
years. A journey that led her to work
with youths and more so promoting
and enhancing the quality of family life
through the provision of education and
reproductive health services. She is an
active executive board member of the
Cat Island Sailing Club Association
where she is one of the many key
leaders in the execution of the annual
regattas, an event showcasing the
Bahamas’ national sport; sloop Sailing.
Her corporate outreach is also clearly
visible as her employer; The Paint
Place, a model corporate partner
supports her efforts and that of the
company always giving back to the
community helping those in need
through sponsorships and donations.
Christine was nominated and was
an ICON finalist in the Bahamas 2016
ICON award for her work in
community service. She was also
nominated and chosen by the Red
Dress Soriee organization as one of the
2016 twelve leading ladies. An
organization that recognizes the
contributions of women in community
and host the event to raised funds for
kids affected or infected with
HIV/AIDS.
Christine King says “Being a
Kiwanian has afforded me the
opportunity to see firsthand the needs
of the less fortunate, especially the
children. “My Kiwanis experience has
helped me to look at my pass as a
blessing and makes me reciprocate all
the love and help my sisters and I
would have received. More and more
working-poor families struggle to put
food on their tables. I believe service is
a life-changing experience that
transforms families and strengthens
communities. No! I alone cannot
change the world, but together with all
of the other Kiwanians, Rotarians,
Churches and other service
organizations we can surely improve
the world.”
Having served in various
leadership capacities she says she will
continue to give hands on service. She
says, “I am driven to continue my
journey of service to others. By my
very own circumstances I have within
me a desire to see a world where every
child has possibilities. As a Kiwanian,
community service and the wellbeing
of our children is not limited to a term
in office or limited to a particular
position. It is a way of life, there is no
expiration date to giving, caring and
lending a helping hand.”
After all of this, when you ask
Christine what’s next, she echoes that
service is the very purpose of life and
there is much more to be done. She
hints that she is hoping to settle in her
own family but cut that conversation
short and reiterated that giving back
makes living so much more rewarding.
“I am so blessed, opportunities follows
me and I am grateful.” I love my family
especially my siblings, nieces and
nephews and the many friends that
rallied around me when I was in need.
I am so afraid to call names because
there are so many of them but they
know there is always a place in my
heart for them. She values TIME; Time
to live, celebrate, share, laugh, give and
change. She finds time to be alone,
meditate and pray, share with friends
and family, travel the world and gain
new experiences. She says that she
lives on the beliefs of Mother Theresa
in that God has not called her to be
successful but to be faithful. She will
forever be faithful in small things for in
them she believes her strength is
fortified.