The Military Wife Mar. 2010 | Page 10

Every military wife loves a good piece of juicy gossip almost as much as she loves her Prozac and chocolate, but how do you find the right wife to spread libelous comments about around the base? There is a proper way to go about getting your narcissistic kicks; just follow these suggestions that will make you the top drama queen around.

1.Find an easy one. A socially isolated, new (or new to the area) military wife whose spouse is currently away makes an especially easy target. If she has small children, she will probably welcome your offers to give her a break from time to time, or offer to take her shopping while your husband babysits/digs through her computer for intimate photographs intended for her husband. TIP: If her husband is either currently deployed or recently returned home, he may be dealing with PTSD. This means the wife/victim will have had very few positive interactions with another adult, and will easily fall for what appears to be support on your part. Take advantage!

2.Know your target. Be friendly and ask lots of personal questions. Since she’s lonely and in need of a friend, she’ll easily tell you about herself. Ask about her relationship with her spouse, and if she says anything about marriage difficulties make sure you complain about your spouse’s lying, cheating ways so she thinks there's a "wife connection". This will also ensure that she doesn't talk to your spouse, finding out that you’ve never had any long-term friendships before. TIP: Share intimate details of your sex life. "Confide" that your husband is a serial cheater and you recently found his “pocket friend” in his belongings. Discussing in great detail the failures of your spouse is a great way to establish a false sense of intimacy with your victim.

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3.Really dig. If she mentions in passing that she has ever been involved in some capacity with something interesting that can be used against her later, put on a concerned face and pretend to be her best friend. If she feels safe, she will be more likely to share the really gritty details with you. Ask the tough questions, if you’ve followed all these hints so far, she’ll easily open up to you. IMPORTANT: When encouraging the target to open up, remember to appear non-judgemental until later, when you’re discussing her disgusting lifestyle with mutual acquaintances or within hearing distance of teaching staff at her kids’ school.

STEP ONE:

Grooming the Victim