The Military Wife Apr. 2010 | Page 12

CFB

Drama

12

"I can't believe she said that! What did you do?" I overhear one military wife say to another as I enjoy playtime with my daughter at the park. The conversation, though not an entirely unfamiliar one to me, has caught my interest as I'm certain was the intent, so I continue to listen to the other wife's response.

"Well, I didn't hear it myself, but that's what Jessie said. Jessie overheard it when she was picking her kids up at the pool. Isn't that disgusting? I'm not speaking to her again, I don't want someone like that around me."

I sit quietly, watching my daughter play on the swings and wonder how long it will be before the drama catches up to her, and in what form. Maybe it's already started, and the wives on the other bench are formulating a story about the lady with the seven year old swinger. Who knows. I'm at the point now where I rarely care, and except for the incidental exposure, drama rarely rears it ugly head anywhere near my vicinity.

It wasn't always like this, though. I've lived on a few bases and noticed that it seems to be the company you keep, moreso than the area in which you abide. Then again, the company isn't always a surefire way to avoid the drama either, as I discovered when a group of thirty somethings at a gathering had too much to drink and decided another woman was "trash talking" someone's husband. I'd managed to stay out of that one, but having watched, as the designated driver, as the aforementioned husband hit on, condescended to, and even intimately touched other women at the gathering, it's a wonder nobody had "trash talked" him sooner.

It's not just the wives, either, contrary to popular belief. Oftentimes, others get involved in the drama for the sheer power trip. I've personally watched a fiendish grin cross a military member's face when he

successfully pitted a married couple against each other at a BBQ. Again, alcohol was involved, and the guy had made some inappropriate comment to the wife, was overheard by the husband, and managed to blame the overture on the wife. The wife, who was caught unaware, was too shocked by the allegations to say anything in her own defense. Instead, she stood there while her husband berated her, in front of the entire group, and to the obvious delight of the military member who had instigated it all.

One common theme, it would seem, is addiction. The numbers in a recent poll seem to line up almost directly with the number of alcohol and/or drug related crimes in specific areas, so would seem this seems a good, if not conclusive, indication

of where one might become involved directly or indirectly with drama in some form or another.

Another clear sign seems to be that deployable units are more likely than not to have higher instances of drama in various forms. This may be as a result of higher stress levels on the part of the families in the area. It may also be that the more likely a base is to deploy large numbers of troops, the more likely the base is to have a higher turnover rate. This means that more people are leaving and arriving regularly, creating tension between "established" locals and "newbies" who may not yet be aware of the "pecking order" within the neighbourhood structure. A new wife with a strong sense of self esteem may do well on her own, but